Dress to Impress
by thilia87
Summary: James is in love. And needs money; for new clothes, special shampoo, and the like. Kendall is clueless and sick of James' whining. When he suggests James get off his butt and get a job, he's surprised that his friend does so, then rather misses him when he's gone. Little does he know James has found a substitute Kendall who may not return his love, but doesn't push him away either.
1. Chapter 1

Co-written with teecrushfic for Big Time Bang on Livejournal last year.

* * *

Kendall put his magazine – _Hockey News_, simple enough – over his face and leaned back. It couldn't drown James' whining out, but it could block his overly-tanned face from his view, however briefly.

He lay there as James complained for the nineteenth time that day that he needed better clothes; clothes more suited to the important man/rockstar/wannabe everything he planned to be. Currently, he was bitching cause his mother had flatly refused to increase his clothing allowance and he was in need of a suit, preferably Armani or Boss and he had so far resisted any attempts to beg, plead, threaten or pout additional funds out of her.

Kendall, whose idea of dressing up was to wear his one tie with literally any shirt that had a collar, was about ready to thump James on the head with his blow-dryer and drag his body away to a place that was small, dark, and hopefully soundproof.

He groaned.

"What am I supposed to do?" James sighed heavily, flopping down on the couch dramatically and running a hand through his hair. He looked downright distressed, and nibbled his bottom lip thoughtfully, staring up at the ceiling. "Mom of all people should know how important it is to wear the right clothes to certain events. Doesn't she care about my happiness at all?"

It was a rhetorical question, but James still looked over at Kendall pleadingly, as if he had all the answers. Kendall looked like he wasn't even listening to him, and James sighed heavily.

"My life really sucks at the moment," he muttered to himself, referring not only to his lack of new clothes, but also to a little problem he'd been having for a few months now.

He sighed and rubbed his forehead.

Then he sighed again, and a few minutes later _again_, for good measure.

Carlos, who had been embroiled in a dome-hockey death match with Logan, and so, had avoided all the drama so far, finally vanquished his friend and was fortunate enough to clue in to the Woes of James.

He flopped down beside Kendall and pulled the magazine off his face; Kendall growled and pulled it back.

"Hey, if _we_ have to listen to this and suffer, then so do you," Carlos informed him, and Kendall growled again.

"I _have_ been listening – was just hoping to not have to look at him too. The whining is bad enough, but along with the pouting? Fucking unbearable."

Carlos had to admit this was true. "Look, Diamond, if you're so hard up for clothes, get a job like the rest of the freaking world. Get a job at one of those stores where they frisk you before letting you in – that's right up your alley. Snobbishness _and_ haute couture."

James had been about to let out another heavy sigh but then turned to stare at Carlos incredulously. He just looked at him as if Carlos had suggested he cut off his foot for a long moment, his mouth hanging open, then blinked. "Get… a job?"

"Yes," Logan said, flopping down between Kendall and Carlos. "Yes, get a job. It's what normal people do to earn money. Like Kendall working at the supermarket, remember? You can't expect your mother to give you an allowance for the rest of your life, James."

James was frowning and pouting. Frouting. "I know what the word job means, thank you very much. I _have_ a job. I'm a popstar, okay? But apparently that doesn't pay quite as well as I was expecting." His frown deepened. "And I can't get a regular job – I have no experience whatsoever; and I don't wanna spend entire _days_ working my ass off in some dirty, un-air-conditioned place where I'm treated like shit and then come home in the middle of the night – where I'll be too tired to hang out with you guys!"

James was nothing if not a drama queen.

Logan raised a brow and pulled his leg up onto the couch. "Well, Mr. Diamond," he said softly. "It's either work or no fancy clothes."

That, James understood, and he grumbled for the next couple of hours, trying to figure out how bad it would be not to get any new clothes. Finally, he realized that that was just not an option, and so he reluctantly reached for the newspaper on the kitchen counter, and started looking. Not because he was seriously considering the idea of getting a job, of course, but it couldn't be bad to know what they were looking for out there, right? Right. Besides… maybe it would impress Kendall and the others if he actually _did_ find a job. Maybe they didn't believe he could do it.

Well, he was going to prove them wrong.

Maybe.

He scanned the ads, wrinkling his nose – he definitely wasn't going to clean offices in the middle of the night. Or wear a hot dog costume to advertise some new restaurant and hand out flyers to people. Or mow people's lawns. Honestly, were there no decent jobs out there? What was happening to the world?

But then he spotted an ad that made him pause. Because Abercrombie & Fitch were looking for someone young and dynamic – and James was. He was also good-looking and had amazing washboard abs – so maybe they were going to let him model their clothes. Standing around in an air-conditioned store, showing off his body and jeans that made his ass look incredible didn't sound like a terrible job to him. And the pay was probably way better than all of these other jobs together.

Decision made, James reached for the phone, called, and got an interview that same day – and was told that if things worked well, he could start right away. He didn't tell anyone where he was going, though, because just in case it _didn't_ work out, he didn't want to be teased and made fun of by those three dorks. So he snuck out of the apartment and made his way to the store, a big smile on his face – that always impressed people.

The interview was short; five minutes after entering the store, he was hired. Sadly, though, they didn't even want to _see_ his abs, which made James pout for a second or two. But at least he had a job and would be able to afford all sorts of great clothes, which was really all he wanted.

First, they sent him into the storage room where he had to open boxes with new clothes that had just arrived. He resisted the urge to try the clothes on right away, and just added the price tags and folded each item neatly, like he'd been told. Then he carried them into the store, and was told where to put them.

"Keep one of the shirts, and go get one of the jeans over there," the salesgirl with the pretty blue eyes told him.

James beamed. "Do I get to keep that? Thank you, that's so awesome! I knew this job would be fantastic."

The girl – Tabitha – was looking at him incredulously, and James realized that no, he was definitely _not_ going to get to take home brand-new clothes that cost a fortune and had just come in.

Oops. Faux-pas!

He grinned. "I was kidding, Tab – can I call you Tab?"

"Tab" almost growled, and James cleared his throat, deciding to just shut up. It was clearly better for the work climate. He licked his lips and slid the shirts onto the shelves, but kept one of them out like Tabitha had asked him to. Then he picked one of the jeans he'd been told to take, and looked at his grumpy superior questioningly. "What do I do with them?"

"You're gonna go back to the storage rooms where we keep a few mannequins, and you're going to dress one of them. Then you're gonna put it in the window. Be careful not to tear any of the clothes. If I see any damage, the cost of the clothes is coming out of your paycheck. I'm warning you."

She narrowed her eyes and James gulped. Then he nodded and took the clothes back to the storage room, taking a deep breath when he was alone again. He wasn't going to last two days at this job if he went on like this. Which would mean Kendall, Carlos and Logan would be right – and he could _not_ let that happen.

Rubbing the back of his neck, he finally took a look around, looking for the mentioned mannequins. He could see them standing in a corner, and made his way over to them, eyeing them warily.

They creeped him out a little. Okay, a lot.

"So which one do I take?" he murmured to himself, not wanting to make another bad impression by picking one Tabitha didn't like. But how was he supposed to know her taste in men? Or mannequins – whatever.

He put the clothes aside, then turned the mannequins around to face him; there were five, all male – though he did have his doubts about one of them, 'cause no one had lashes that long, except James himself – and then took in their features. The first one was fugly, the second one was the girl-in-boy-disguise, the third one was dark-haired and since they currently already had three other brunette ones in the window, he wasn't going to take that one into the store – there had to be some sort of balance; the fourth one was a redhead, and the fifth one…

James stopped, and his heart skipped a beat. The resemblance was incredible. The body type was pretty much right, and then it had those cheekbones and that chin, right down to the floppy hair and intense eyes. And then there were the eyebrows and dimples.

The freaking mannequin had _dimples_.

Basically, the mannequin was Kendall's doppelganger. And James couldn't help staring.

"James? Are you done?"

James blinked, and wondered how long he'd been standing there, staring at that mannequin, and then quickly grabbed one of the other four – they had more prominent abs, which was what they seemed to like here at A&F – and dressed it, which was oddly more difficult than it looked. Then he put it over his shoulder and threw one last glance at mannequin-Kendall before he reluctantly left it in the back and made his way back into the store. Sure, he was kind of tempted to put the Kendall one in the window, but he planned to inspect that particular mannequin more closely later, which he couldn't do it if was in the front for the whole world to see.

He installed the mannequin he'd chosen in the window, got a reluctant thumbs-up from his boss, then had other stuff to do, but for the rest of the day, he couldn't think about anything but the Kendall doll in the back.

It was half an hour before closing time, and James couldn't wait to get home. It had been a long-assed day, but he felt good, and was going to enter the apartment with a huge, smug grin on his face cause woohoo! He actually had a job!

"Shit," Tabitha murmured suddenly, and James, always helpful – or just plain curious – looked at her questioningly.

"Everything okay?" he asked tentatively; Tabitha hadn't snapped at him for the rest of the day, which had to mean that she was pleased with his work. Still, James had a feeling that woman could get pretty fierce, so he preferred to keep a safe distance for now.

She looked up. "I forgot that I have to leave early to pick up my–" She paused. "Never mind. I guess he's just gonna have to wait half an hour longer."

She nibbled her lips, and James thought. "I could close up for you, if you like."

She frowned, then snorted. "Like I'd trust you with the key. You've only just started working here. You could be a serial killer for all I know!" She paused. "A serial killer with unbelievably white teeth, but still…"

"Well, I'm not," James laughed – then shrugged. "But seriously, look, you've got my address, phone number, name – if I stole all the clothes or money, you'd know where to find me."

She bit her lip, considering it, and then finally, reluctantly agreed. "All right. I would never do this under normal circumstances, but this is an emergency, so… I'm gonna trust you. Lock up the shop in half an hour, then make sure everything is in order before you leave. Come to my house and drop the key into the mailbox – if it's not there when I get home later, I'm gonna call the police. This is my address." She handed him a scrap of paper.

James beamed – if he was getting this huge responsibility on his first day, he had to have done something right. "That won't be necessary – thank you! I will make sure to close and bring you the key – you don't have to worry about anything and you're not going to regret this!"

She raised a brow. "Wanna bet?"

Then she left, and James stepped behind the cash register, tilting his chin up. He liked it here.

* * *

A few more customers came in that evening, and James made sure to be friendly – which he always was – and helpful – which he always was, as well. Then, when the time came, he closed and locked the shop's door, locked in the money and turned off the lights. He grabbed a few boxes when he went back into the storage room, piling them to make more room.

And then he saw the Kendall mannequin again. He bit his lip and made his way over to it, taking a breath.

"Hey Kendall," he said softly. "How's it going?"

Then he looked around, embarrassed, because who talked to a fucking _doll_?

Apparently, James did.

He reached up and ran his fingers through Kendall 2.0's hair, sighing. "I always want to touch your hair but it would be kind of awkward if I just did it randomly without a reason, wouldn't it?" he murmured, looking into the mannequin's eyes. "Well, the real Kendall's hair. You're just a mannequin."

He frowned. "What the hell am I even doing here?"

He stepped back and tried to look away, but it was really hard because the doll was naked. And didn't have anything between its legs, which was a little disturbing and wrong in so many ways, but…

James paused. Then he spotted a few old-looking boxes in another corner of the room and went to look into them. There were some clothes that were a little torn or had lost a button; they were clearly old and hadn't been used for months. Figuring they didn't really need these anymore, James grabbed an outfit, and then spent the next few minutes dressing doll-Kendall. It was an outfit that Kendall would actually wear – jeans, a t-shirt and a plaid shirt – and fuck, dressed like this, the mannequin looked even more like Kendall.

James swallowed hard and licked his lips, then slid his arms around the doll's neck, looking at its lips.

He couldn't believe he was actually considering doing this, but before he could change his mind, he leaned in and kissed hard, plastic lips. He closed his eyes and pretended they were real for a moment, and then realized what the hell he was _doing_, and stepped back quickly, pushing doll-Kendall back.

"I'm losing my fucking mind," he muttered, grabbed the keys and left the building quickly without another glance at the mannequin and before he could do something even more ridiculous. He locked the door and dropped the key at Tabitha's, then made his way back home, where his friends were already beginning to get a little worried.

"Where the fuck have you _been_?"

This came from Logan and James blinked, standing in the doorway and looking into his friends' faces.

"Logie, dude, way to welcome home the conquering hero," Kendall admonished him from the kitchen where he was saucing up some homemade pizzas, ready for the oven. He looked at James, tilting his head. "Where _have_ you been, though?"

James looked into three expectant faces and opened his mouth, swallowing hard.

"I was…"

_Molesting a mannequin_, his brain supplied helpfully.

"…at work. I was at work because I have a job now."

Pushing all thoughts of doll-Kendall out of his head, James smiled smugly and raised a brow. "Surprised?"

Kendall smiled over at James, raising an eyebrow. "You found a job the first day? Jamie, that's awesome! What'cha doing? Directing traffic shirtless? Demonstrating leg presses in a Speedo? Spill!"

Carlos was eating pepperoni slices from the bag, and Kendall smacked his hand with the spatula he was using to spread the sauce. "Dude! Leave some for the pizza, will ya? Jesus."

Carlos scowled and then licked the sauce off his hands appreciatively. "Good batch," he said cheerfully and started sprinkling on cheese.

James dropped his bag and made his way over to his friends, nudging Kendall. "Thanks for telling Logan to chill. I don't appreciate being snapped at by little people the moment I come through the door."

"Ah, don't mind them; they have less space to cram all their jealousy of The Tallest, and it makes them cranky."

Kendall grinned at Logan's scowl, and tossed a slice of pepperoni at him. James smirked when Logan protested, and ruffled his hair as he walked past him, sliding onto a stool at the kitchen island, watching Kendall. "You'd think they'd let me direct traffic shirtless, right? But no – I found a job at Abercrombie & Fitch. They even let me close today, dude! How amazing is that?"

"Dude, Abercrombie & Fitch? That is so up your alley. Pretty people, pretty clothes. You'll fit right in. And they let you _close_?"

James grinned. "Yep, Abercrombie & Fitch, and it is _totally_ up my alley. I do fit in pretty well."

Kendall raised one of his mighty brows. "You must have been impressive. Did you work naked? You did, didn't you?"

He slid the pizzas in the oven and set the timer. "In fairness to the shorties, we just didn't know where you were and our calls went to voicemail, and so we were worried; figured you might have been sold into white slavery or something."

James stood up and grabbed a Coke from the fridge, taking a few sips and nodding. "They did let me close – I think it was an emergency, but I did it pretty well, so they might let me do it again. It's not like locking a door is that hard, but… whatever."

He rolled his eyes. "Sadly, I did not get to work naked; they didn't even want to _see_ the abs, can you imagine that?" He shook his head, then sipped some more Coke and watched Kendall. "I would've called, but I didn't want to give anything away until I was sure I was gonna get to keep the job, you know? Sorry if I worried you."

"Dude, no abs?" Kendall moved over and yanked up James' shirt with no warning, then tapped the abs with his fingertips. "Do they _know_ what they're missing? Did you show them? Did you whip off your shirt and yell "Behold, Your God Is Amongst You?" One of us should have gone with a trumpet to announce you."

He grinned and pulled James' shirt back down, then tugged the ends of his hair lightly. "Good for you, man – I'm proud of you."

James blinked through all of this – he had absolutely no objections to Kendall ripping his clothes off him, but him brushing those soft fingertips over his stomach lightly was killing him.

Kendall 2.0 would never do that, his brain told him, and James resisted the urge to hit himself on the head repeatedly. He was thinking about a fucking inanimate object; what the hell was wrong with him?

He shook his head and focused on Kendall. "They do not know what they're missing – but it's their loss. If they don't want to see them, I'm not going to force my abs upon them."

Then he grinned. "You're nuts," he said affectionately, shaking his head over Kendall, and when Kendall said he was actually _proud_ of him, James gave him a wide smile. "Thank you! I'm proud of myself, actually. It was hard, but I do feel kind of satisfied now that I've worked for a whole day. And the pay is great, so… I think I can spend some time working there without, like, dying."

Kendall was amused. "They must have no idea of what they're missing, cause damn. But I'm sure there'll come a day when some lady comes in, comes up to you, says "My grandson is about your size, will you try this on for me?" You, ever-obliging, will whip your shirt off, and dazzle the whole store with your beauty, and when she buys the shirt, and six others, you will ring up the sale, and find that she's written her name and number on the receipt, all cougar-like. You will be intrigued and call, and spend a wild afternoon immersed in illicit sex and passion like you have never known before, emerging drained as she–"

Carlos had cracked up during this, and now clamped his hand over Kendall's mouth. "Holy shit, dude, STOP."

He let Kendall go, who sighed. "Fine. I could be writing for soaps if they still existed. But good, Jamie – we'll make a working man out of you yet. And because you're such a good guy, I put bacon and jalapeños on your pizza. Carlos gets none, because his gas is out of control as it is."

James was a little pale and looked disturbed, still trying to process Kendall's little story. "Oh my god, no. No, no, no. I'm… no, never gonna happen. I mean, I would of course model the clothes for anyone who asks me – I'm not rude or anything. But I certainly wouldn't engage in sexual activities with a woman four times my age."

The fact that he wasn't interested in sex with women at _all_, he kept to himself.

Then he had to snort. "Carlos' gas _is_ bad, though, but thanks for making my favorite pizza, dude! It's nice to come home from a long day of work and dinner's almost on the table."

"Hey, it's the least I can do." Kendall smiled at him, then pulled the pizzas out when the timer dinged; Carlos setting the table.

Dinner time was always entertaining – it was just them and Katie, who played four sister roles and was used to them, and when they were done, Logan was left with their homework, Carlos had misplaced his helmet and was tearing the rooms upstairs apart, and Kendall and James were left to do the dishes.

James hated washing up, but he did like spending time with Kendall, so… Pruny hands were a small price to pay for some quality time with Kendall.

"I'm really psyched you got a job, Jamie," the latter said, setting a plate in the dish-rack. "I know working kind of sucks, but it's your money, you know? No one can tell you what to do with it. I kind of miss the market at home, having my own check. But think of the cool stuff you can buy!"

James nodded. "It's never really occurred to me to get a job," he admitted. "I mean, my mom always gave me everything I needed, so I never had to think about it. But I like the idea of having my own money that I can buy whatever I want with. It's going to be so awesome. I'm gonna take you guys out for a movie when I get my first paycheck."

"I know," Kendall nodded. "Brooke probably thinks you're building character this way, or, maybe just that you have way too many fucking clothes. I actually think the latter might be right. We have two closets in our room, yet there's no room for anything of mine in either of them. Hmmm."

He didn't really care, since most of his stuff made it from the laundry basket to his body, then back to another laundry basket, but he liked to remind James once in a while that two people slept there.

"Awww, you don't have to pay for our movie – we should take _you_ out; celebrate when that happens."

Done with the dishes, Kendall rubbed his neck. "TV? Or are you gonna pass out early from being a tired working class stiff?"

James was still thinking about the closet situation in their room, and suddenly felt bad. "Yeah, sorry," he said, biting his lip and giving him a sheepish grin. "I've been meaning to throw out some old clothes, and I will, I promise. Just might take a while, now that I actually work."

"I've heard that for two years," Kendall sighed and hung up the dishtowel. "And yet, it never happens. I don't care though, you know that. I dress from whatever smells the least funky on the floor."

James grinned, 'cause that was so true, and shook his head. "And no, you're definitely not going to pay for my ticket! I'll be the one with the money, so I'm gonna take you guys out."

James put the towel down and stretched. "TV would be great… I might pass out, though. We'll see."

Kendall smiled back at James and they both flopped on the screamingly orange sofa, Kendall handing James the remote. "Okay, one rule – if you even pause on the Bravo channel? I will beat you," he warned, then stretched out, feet on the table, head back, shirt riding way up.

James smiled, then flopped down as well, reaching for the remote. He started zapping through the channels, not planning on pausing on Bravo at all. But it was just in that one tiny moment when he was _on_ Bravo that he noticed Kendall's shirt that had ridden up almost all the way up to his nipples, and swallowed hard, trying not to stare.

Kendall closed his eyes, figuring he'd open them when James found a station, and so leaned back, then rubbed his stomach absently; his shirt had shrunk and that was the last time he was gonna trust Carlos with the laundry. He should have known better – Carlos got distracted by shiny things; specifically, shiny girl-shaped things and then it was all over but the fabric softener. And the tears.

He opened one eye when the not-quite-melodious voice of one of the fake Housewives of Beverly Hills reached his ears, and then growled, leaping on James and wrestling him to the floor.

"NO. BRAVO," he hissed when he had him pinned. "Dude. DUDE."

He shook his head briefly to get his hair out of his eyes, then stared down at James. "You need professional help, son."

James yelped, then stared up at Kendall with wide eyes, hoping frantically that Kendall wasn't going to notice that his body was… well, reacting, in ways that would probably shock Kendall forever. He shifted.

"Dude! I didn't even mean to watch it – I didn't! I just kind of got distracted," he explained, hoping Kendall wouldn't want to know all about that "distraction". He licked his lips and stared up at him – fuck Kendall. Why did he always, always, _ALWAYS_have to look so good?

"Dude! You stopped on RHBH! That's like watching… I don't know, pig on pig porn!"

Kendall leaned close and stage-whispered, "It's just WRONG."

He kept James pinned, shaking his head. "What am I gonna do with you, Jamie? Do I have to Clockwork Orange you and make you watch this kind of TV till you go insane or get a boob job? Hmmm?"

He shifted a little on top of him, then looked down. "Really? Camille Grammer gives you a stiffie? Oh God, it's so much worse than I thought. SO MUCH WORSE."

James was pink. Or red, he wasn't sure. Maybe even purple. Either way, he'd blushed a lot in the past few seconds, especially when Kendall noticed his stiffie and _rubbed against it_ when he shifted. He was evil.

But fortunately, Kendall didn't realize that it was Kendall _himself_ who'd given him the stiffie, thank God. He shifted and rolled them over till he was on top and had Kendall pinned.

He looked down at his friend, thinking about all the things he could do to him right now…

But then he thought about the bad, _bad_D consequences that could have, and shook his head. No. No way. Never.

He stood up and took a deep breath. "It was a random stiffie if you must know," he said eventually, hoping Kendall would buy it.

Kendall totally let him do that, the whole pinning thing, and then looked up at him with that patented smirk, the one he saved up, used as his "Really now? Really?" smirk.

Then he lay there while James stood up, since it was kind of comfy on the floor. "A random stiffie? Dude, we stopped having those at fourteen. Now hard-ons generally need a reason, and if that was the reason? Dude. I worry."

He sighed and finally got up, and pulled his shirt down again before taking it off entirely and flopping back on the couch, shirtless.

James sighed. "Well, when I'm tired I still get them sometimes. And that was _not_ the reason, okay? Jesus, I have more taste than that – and so does Little Diamond."

He grinned, but then his face fell when Kendall took off his shirt and his dick went _sproing_!

That? Was just evil.

Kendall grinned too. "Little Diamond? Awww. Last I saw he wasn't exactly little, didn't feel little either, but hey. I call mine KJr. and it's all good."

He looked up at James, immediately concerned by the change in expression. "You okay there, Diamond Squared?"

James blinked and shook his head. "Yeah… yeah, I'm okay. I just… maybe I should go to bed. I'm really tired."

He still couldn't stop himself from leaning against Kendall a little, resting his head on his shoulder.

"Yeah, you look a little beat," said Kendall sympathetically, and slid his arm around James for a moment, snuggling him to him and resting his cheek on James' head.

The moment lasted for several moments till Kendall hugged him and let go. "Sleep tight, okay? Close the door so the other idiots leave you alone, and I'll probably be up in a little while. I'll be super-quiet, okay?"

James nodded. "All right, thanks."

Then he stood up and gave him another smile before going upstairs. There, he took off his clothes and went into the bathroom to wank – doing it in his bed when Kendall could come up any second was dangerous. He wanked quickly, then slid under the covers and sighed heavily. His crush on Kendall was getting worse the more time he spent with him, and Kendall obviously wasn't going to return his love, and… it was just hard.

He rolled onto his side and closed his eyes, trying to sleep.

Downstairs, Kendall, after letting James go upstairs without any more trouble, flipped around till he found Sports Center and half watched it, half thought about their little wrestling match. They'd wrestled a million times in their lives and James had never had that reaction, but then again, maybe that _did_ happen when he was tired. Kendall got a stiffie for a fair amount of reasons, but being tired was usually not one of them.

_James_ was one of the reasons, and he could only be forever grateful that KJr. had decided to throw him one, so to speak, and stay in his quarters. He knew he owed his cock one. Or eight. KJr. was slightly demanding, not unlike Kendall Sr.

He went up to bed an hour later, and quietly walked through, closing the bathroom door to wash his face and brush his teeth, then back into the darkened room. He slipped into his bed and rolled over too, snuggling into his pillow, listening to the night sounds of the Palmwoods.

James wasn't asleep when Kendall came upstairs and he kept his eyes closed as he listened to Kendall get ready for bed which creaked a little when he got comfortable on it. James rolled onto his other side and looked over at Kendall's profile through the darkness. Only then did he finally close his eyes and fall asleep, wondering how or if he was ever going to get over Kendall.

Then it suddenly occurred to him that maybe Kendall 2.0 could help him. The thought alone made him roll his eyes, but on the other hand, it wasn't such a stupid idea. Maybe spending time with the mannequin would make him realize that Kendall wasn't all that special, and he would fall out of love with him right away.

But Kendall _was_ special. Still, he had to get over this crush; it was getting dangerous. He had to come up with a solution soon either way, and he would.

Tomorrow.

* * *

Kendall was barely awake when James got up and went into the bathroom – he had to work that morning, and then sing in the afternoon. Kendall wondered if James had told Gustavo he had a job yet and how that would go over, and decided that if he needed to stand up for James, he would.

Bros for life and all that, even if that was all it was ever going to be.

He wondered when his feelings for James had morphed from just a best friend, to a best friend who was hot, to a boy he found attractive, to the boy he had unwittingly – and maybe unwillingly – fallen in love with. Although he hadn't read any literature on the subject – or consulted Logan, which was basically the same thing – he knew falling for your best friend was a bad idea. In the very best-case scenario, they loved you too, and it was rose petals and imported beer forever, but in most cases it was an awkward, "Oh, uhm, cool, but you know, I really don't… yeah. We're still bros though, right?"

Kendall didn't consider himself unlucky – far from it – but everyone had a moment when a dream just imploded. He didn't want his dream of James to do that, to lose him, to fuck up their dynamic. He'd rather wank forever.

Which was gonna have to be okay, cause baby, that was looking like how it was gonna be.

And James, beautiful, amazing James, had no clue. None; and maybe in the end, that was best. And also, James was beautifully, amazingly heterosexual, which Kendall had to admit was somewhat of a barrier to his plan of world James-domination.

James came out of the bathroom then, looking amazing like always and Kendall waved to him from his bed. "Hola, hottie. Cómo estás?"

James looked down at him with a smile. "Dude, it is way too early for Spanish," he said softly. Then he sighed. "You look comfortable… any chance I can just come over there and sleep some more, and just ditch work?"

He sighed, knowing that wasn't a good idea. "I'll see you later, all right? Go back to sleep; you look tired."

He smiled and waved, then left reluctantly, leaving Kendall to imagine _that_ scenario and yes, wank. One of eight. Seven of nine. Something.

* * *

Work that morning was uneventful; Tabitha was pretty impressed that he'd managed to lock the door – why everyone thought locking a door was such a hard thing to do, he would never know; he'd been able to to do it since he was about four years old – and she had a lot for him to do, so technically, time passed pretty quickly and the morning was over in no time.

Tabitha left to have lunch, and James was relieved that there was another guy working in the store, so he could excuse himself to go to the storage room, feeling like he had some sort of dirty little secret. Which he did, sort of. Because the fact that he was so fascinated with a fucking mannequin was definitely not normal.

"Hey," he said to the mannequin, his voice low. "Look, I don't even know what I'm doing here. You look a lot like a friend of mine and…"

He trailed off, looking around and rubbing the back of his neck nervously. "And I have a crush on him," he continued. "And I'm thinking that maybe if I pretend you're him for a while, I may lose interest in Kendall, and…" He paused. "Does that make any sense? That's not going to happen, is it?"

He looked at the mannequin. "Whenever I think I'm over you, you keep coming up with new ways to make me fall in love with you all over again. It's like you're doing it on purpose, but you're not cause you're completely clueless. Even when I get a fucking hard-on when you're on top of me and my erection is pressed against your thigh, you don't get it. I mean, how obvious do I need to be here?"

He sighed and leaned against the mannequin. "Why do you drive me so crazy, hm? Why?"

He kissed the corner of the doll's lips and closed his eyes for a moment.

Then he heard a noise near the door and jumped away quickly, seeing Martin, the other guy who worked here, eye him. "What are you doing back here?"

"Oh, uh, just… just familiarizing myself with everything," James said, waving his hands around a little too wildly, and giving him a smile. "And I need to get going anywhere – done for today. So, um… bye! Don't burn down the store."

He made a quick exit and let out a breath when he was outside.

He was losing his mind. It was quite clear now.

* * *

James might be losing his mind, but Kendall was losing his temper, and that might be worse. Gustavo was being ridiculously anal, Kelly had a headache and wasn't helping, and Carlos and Logan were fighting over some trivial thing that made Kendall want to yank their heads off and throw them out the window.

He was on the couch in the outer office, playing Minesweeper and muttering "Serenity Fucking _Now_," when James showed up, looking pretty and fresh and not bothered by a single thing, that lucky bastard.

When James was in the room, he blinked. "Wow, what's going on here?" he asked, and since Kendall was the only one who wasn't busy doing anything like fighting or yelling, he flopped down next to him.

"What did I miss?"

"I blame you," Kendall muttered, stabbing the fire key viciously. "You started it – "Call that guy, Kendall. You could be a star, Kendall. What, you wanna take us with you? Thanks Kendall!"

He looked up. "And now we are in a sunny, hot, fake-boob ridden hell, complete with a sweaty fat guy with an attitude in the other room. I'm gonna kill him."

He looked back down at his game. "As soon as I blow up this fucking little cargo ship. Then, Gustavo is DEAD TO ME. And also, really dead; start composing his eulogy now 'cause he seems to like you lately."

"Um…" James frowned. "Are you gonna tell me what happened now? And you're not going to kill Gustavo; I'm not his biggest fan either, but he is an okay guy when he wants to be, which, admittedly, isn't very often. But either way… tell me."

He rubbed the back of Kendall's neck, knowing that always made him feel better.

Kendall glared at him, then told him the whole story which was actually fairly unbelievable in its sheer ridiculousness, and ended with Kendall nearly shrieking that a thong was a privilege, not a right and that men who clear 275 lbs in the shade should NOT be wearing anything composed of string and spandex!

The soothing hand on the back of his neck helped, though, and he sighed and flopped onto James' lap – sort of – his head on James' leg. He looked up and shoved his fringe out of his eyes. "Tell me your morning was better. Please God. You saw some hot girls, the dressing room had an emergency situation with four girls wedged into it, their semi-naked bodies flushed from naughty groping… Hell, I'll even take a hot _guy_story, that's how desperate I am for entertainment."

God, he was good. He'd _prefer_ a hot guy story, actually.

James looked down at him and stroked his hair. "No. Sadly, my morning was completely uneventful. Wish I had a story to entertain you with, though."

He ran his fingers through his hair and smiled. "Just imagine me falling over my own feet, and you'll be entertained."

"You could make one up if you really loved me," murmured Kendall, already falling to Diamond's Magic Fingers (patent pending). "Also, you can keep doing that all day. Fuck the rest of the world. Pet me."

His eyes closed, then opened again, and he smiled, a little, half-dimple smile. "What did you fall over? Did you have a moment with a mannequin or something? Some of those are scarily realistic. You could find a James one and dress it in your image."

He sighed and turned on his side, facing James' stomach.

James flushed deeply at the mention of the mannequin, and panicked. Fuck! Did Kendall know something? Had he seen him? But no, that was impossible. Was it? He took one or two deep breaths, then calmed down again and nodded.

"Yeah," he said, licking his lips. "I did _stumble_ over a mannequin in the storage room. And fell right into a box of clothes. It was a classic James moment; you should've seen it."

He grinned and rubbed Kendall's scalp. "Feeling better yet?"

Kendall didn't know anything that went on in James' mind, unless they were playing Battleship, which James sucked at and was transparent during, but he did know that James really did have amazing fingers and he didn't want to move.

"You did?" Kendall smiled into James' stomach, having wiggled closer – he was now perfectly comfortable. "Where's security cameras when you need 'em? And mmmmyeah, better. So good. You can rub any part of me, anytime."

In true Kendall fashion, he didn't think anything of that comment until it was out of his mouth, then was glad his face was shoved into James' non-existent stomach, and sighed contentedly until Carlos came looking for them.

James _did_ get the statement and swallowed hard. Duuude. If Kendall wasn't so freaking clueless, he would've jumped him already. There were definitely parts of Kendall James wanted to rub, but he had a feeling Kendall would be a little stunned if he actually reached between his legs and started rubbing him _there_.

He imagined it for a moment, then blinked and made himself remember that Kendall had his head in his _lap_, so thinking about something that turned him on, was definitely not a good idea right now.

He looked up when Carlos came in.

"Hey, there's the man – gotta get back inside." Carlos folded his arms and looked down at Kendall, who muttered, "No fucking way."

"YES, fucking way. All of us, now."

"No. I hate you all."

Carlos sighed. And people thought James was the diva.

Well… he was, but Kendall could be just as bad when he got all goddamned stubborn and shit.

"I hate you too, but get up anyway."

When Kendall didn't move, Carlos sighed and grabbed both of Kendall's Conversed feet and dragged him off the couch, onto the floor, sat on him, then tickled him, till Kendall was hysterical with laughter and had punched him in the hip.

"Get the fuck off me, you maniac!"

"Not yet – you getting up nice when I do?"

Kendall was panting and flushed. "No. I mean, what the fuck ever, yes, get UP."

Carlos did, and was promptly head-locked, and it took Kelly five minutes to wrangle them into the studio.

When the furor had died down, James ruffled Kendall's hair. "All right, so let's go in there and sing, dude. Or whatever the big man wants us to do." He wrapped an arm around Kendall and smiled.

Kendall sighed and slid his arm around James' waist, leaning against him. "I think you bruised a rib, you psycho Garcia," he grumbled. "You're heavier than you look."

Carlos flipped him off, then led the way into the soundbooth.

In the studio, tensions had diffused a little, mostly because of Logan, who was the yin to Kendall's yang most of the time, and though Gustavo and Kendall circled each other warily for the rest of the afternoon, it was all okay in the end – although Gustavo had clearly not forgotten any Knight-esque comments about his choice of underwear, and Kendall had no intention of taking it back.

Hell, _he_ didn't even wear a man-thong and he had a much more suitable body type. Jesus.

Now _James_ in a thong, holy Jesus, Mary, Joseph and a few stray camels on the road…


	2. Chapter 2

Determined to cheer up, Kendall amused himself by singing "Intermission" to Logan in a very longing tone on the way home, cause Logan turned the best color pink he'd ever seen, and stayed that way for the entire song.

James watched them with a grin; even though _he_ wanted to be the one Kendall sang to, it was amusing to see Logan blush that way and get all shy and insecure.

Logan sighed. "Will you stop?" he begged, and James grinned.

"Don't you dare," he whispered to Kendall. "Logan's so cute when he's uncomfortable."

Logan glared and flipped him off. "I think it's time for us to make James a little uncomfortable. When are we gonna visit him at work and embarrass him?"

"…need to take a break before you break my heart," Kendall sang, then took Logan in his arms and dipped him deeply. "You're killing me here, Mitchell. I'm trying to touch your heart and you tell me to stop. Fine. I will find others who will love my romantic soul. Not Garcia, cause he's into pain, and James just likes the ladies. I make a terribly awkward girl."

He sighed and pulled Logan up. "Dude. We _do_ need to visit Jamie at work, to support him, not embarrass him. Jeesh. What friends."

James groaned. "Oh god, please don't. I'm begging you here. Seriously, even if you don't _mean_ to embarrass me, you might, and… I don't want to make a bad impression on my third day or something. Okay? I love you guys, but sometimes you're a little much to handle. But if you come separately, then… that would be okay, I guess."

He nodded.

Logan sighed. "Where's the fun in that? Boo."

Carlos shook his head. "He has no faith in us. None. I'm hurt, seriously. Very much so."

He folded his arms and shook his head at James. "Really? _Really_?"

Kendall sighed. "Stop stealing my lines, Garcia. Hey, at least James is out working, and who ever thought _that_ would happen, huh? No offense, dude," he added to James, then looped an arm around his neck. "It was an unlikely occurrence, is all. And we're not gonna fuck it up for him."

James looked at him and smiled. "Thanks, Kendall. I appreciate that. But… you didn't think I could do it, huh? Are you really, really impressed, hmm?"

He grinned, hoping that Kendall _was_ impressed. He liked it when Kendall admired him; it made him feel like Kendall might actually want him at some point, at least for a little while. Even if it was for a stupid reason – just because he had underestimated James and was impressed because he had a job now, didn't mean he was suddenly in love with him.

But James could pretend…

"Don't I look really, really impressed?" Kendall made a goofy face – that is to say, a fairly normal face, for him – and then laughed. "I am, really. I just didn't think you'd take it seriously and would find some way to worm money out of Mama D. But you didn't, and that's very cool. It's like a whole new responsible James."

He kept his arm around James till they got to Palmwoods Park, then got caught up in an impromptu game of Calvin!Ball, named after the comic strip, with no rules and lots of cheating. He excelled at this.

James grinned and shook his head, then squeezed Kendall, and followed him into the Palmwoods. During the game, he watched Kendall, wondering why it was so hard to fall out of love with him. Technically it shouldn't be that hard but… it was. He doubted he'd ever be able to do it.

And if he couldn't make himself stop loving Kendall, he had to find a way to tell him, or he'd just end up… dying unhappy, which didn't seem like much of an option.

Maybe Kendall 2.0 really _could_ help him figure this out. Yeah. That was a good plan.

Kendall squeezed James back like the bros they were – no more, he kept reminding himself – and then commenced playing, finally dropping on the ground next to James and flopping back; he was soaked with sweat, there was dirt all over his face – Calvin!Ball was nothing if not full-body-tackle oriented – and his sticky, sweaty hair was standing up.

"Dude, this was the best thing I could have run into after today. I'm beat. I'm gonna go sit in the bathtub, soak, and have Kendall-time."

He smirked knowingly at James. "You may wanna close the door on your way out, yo."

_Cause otherwise you might hear your name and realize I'm thinking about you and wishing it was your hand on me…_

James actually _didn't_ want to close the door but… he couldn't really tell Kendall that, could he?

"Ahh, I see," he said, giving him a little smile. "Well, then… have fun, I guess. Hope you enjoy your Kendall-time."

"Dude, I gotta do something," sighed Kendall, abandoning his fantasy before something untoward happened. "I'm tense. I'm horny all the time. Jo's gone, Lucy is flaky and there's no one else I'm interested in. I'm dying. I use so much lube that I have to shop at four different places so they don't think I'm some sort of pervert. It's bad. But I found this amazing lemon stuff that smells so good that it's like dual-purpose. So if you're wondering why I'm smelling all citrus, that's why."

_You should be less impressed with my smell than how good a fucking liar I am though, just sayin'._

Kendall sat up and rubbed his neck. "And that was total TMI, sorry. I don't know what you're doing in that department but you don't seem to be as desperate as me, so good for you."

He got to his feet – groaned – and tugged James up. "Ugh, carry me. Or prop me up, will you?"

"I like citrus," James said softly as he got up. "And you're not a pervert; I get being horny, trust me. I'm just as desperate as you are."

"You never look it – I just figured you were getting some and being quiet about it all. So it's not just me."

James laughed. "No, no, I'm definitely not getting any, trust me. It's not just you."

"Well, that's two of us. I think Logie's gotten to second with Camille, and Carlos has his corn dogs. Seriously, I wonder if he KNOWS how it looks, dude. Phallic symbol, much?"

James cracked up, imagining it for a second before shaking his head, scarred for life. Then he raised a brow at him, grabbed Kendall, picked him up, threw him over his shoulder and carried him upstairs. "There, princess."

Kendall really hadn't expected James to actually carry him, but grinned when he did. His bro had big muscles and Kendall let himself be dead weight as James hiked him upstairs.

"Princess? Dude." Kendall pretended to be injured for all of .5 seconds, then laughed. "I could totally get used to you carrying me around – makes me think that walking is way overrated."

He squeezed James' shoulder and then walked into the bathroom, starting the water, then came out and started pulling off his clothes with total unconcern. Nakedness was no big thing with any of them, far as he knew.

James smiled. "You weigh nothing, dude. I'll carry you whenever you want to be carried. Cause walking _is_ overrated."

Nakedness may not be a big thing to Kendall, but _Kendall_ being naked was definitely a big thing to James. He just looked like a fucking model. And James was glad _he_ wasn't naked because he was getting hard and if he'd been standing there with a huge erection, his attraction to Kendall might have been a tad obvious.

Kendall smirked and pulled out some pajama bottoms and boxers, then raised a brow. "I will _so_ be taking you up on being carried, then. I like the back view."

He winked and went into the bathroom, closing the door and then all that was heard was splashing… for a while.

Then a sigh. A long sigh, followed by a little moan, then another one and some murmuring before more splashing and a groan that couldn't be anything but finishing.

James was still processing – Kendall liked the back view? What was that supposed to mean? Sure, he had a great ass but… since when did Kendall look at it?

Huh.

Then he heard the sigh and moans and James closed his eyes.

This was just not fair.

He leaned against the bathroom door, pressing his ear against the door and listening as he slid his hand into his boxers and started stroking himself.

In the bathtub, Kendall leaned his head back into the bubbles – yeah, bubbles, so what? He and Mr. Bubble went way back – and sighed. That had been one of his more satisfying ones, and he relaxed, stretching lazily. The friction of the washcloth was a nice addition, and he made a note to keep a stack around; he would name the dark brown one James, in honor of his eyes.

Mmmmm.

But never being one to rest on his laurels, he decided to see if a second could be as good as the first.

Kendall reached for the little bottle of bath oil and spread his legs, slicking himself, thinking of all kinds of things, random images, and closed his eyes till he was hard – it didn't take long. His fingers were already slippery, and it seemed a shame to waste it, so he slid two fingers into himself, biting his lip and pushing down on himself.

God, every time he did that, he liked it more. He was pretty sure he was moving right past bi and on to gay, and so what? He lived with two pretty boys and the most gorgeous one in the world, so who cared?

Kendall wrapped his fingers around himself and then paused, reaching for a washcloth and winding it around his hand, then stroking himself. This time, the noises were louder – his noises – and more emphatic, as his fantasies took form.

James opened his eyes and blinked, wondering what the hell Kendall was doing to himself in there. It sounded amazing, and James really, really wanted to join in, but knew that wasn't going to happen. So he tightened his hand around his own cock and kept stroking himself while listening to Kendall's soft moans and sounds. He bit his lip, trying not to make any noise because it would freak Kendall out, and he didn't want him to stop doing whatever it was he was doing in there because it sounded amazing, and his moans were really, really turning James on.

He bit his lip and squeezed his cock hard, then let out a nearly inaudible gasp when he came all over his hand. "Oh fuck," he mouthed, swallowing hard.

Kendall didn't hear anything, cause the door was surprisingly thick and his own orgasm was upon him, and this time, the moan was louder, more guttural, deeper, the last one a drawn out "Ohhh, Goddddd, fuuuuck…"

He had to blink several times, his eyes glazed, before he could focus again, and he grinned. _That_ one had been even better, and if he was gonna be terminally alone, he was gonna have to invest in more bath oil, and maybe a toy or two.

And hide them. Hide them really, really well.

Kendall got out of the tub a few moments later, when he was sure his legs would hold him up, and reached for a towel, briskly drying and having to grin at himself in the mirror.

James stayed right there, leaning against the door for a long moment; then he licked his lips and pushed himself up, reaching for a Kleenex or two and cleaning himself up. He tossed them into the trash when he was done and pulled his pants up again, sitting down on his bed. Then he stood up and left the room – he didn't even want to know what Kendall would think if he found out that James had been here the whole time, listening to him like a dirty little perv.

He flopped down on the couch in the living room and pushed his hair back, staring up at the ceiling. "I'm so screwed," he whispered, groaning.

Kendall made his way downstairs a few minutes later, smelling like coconut bath oil and feeling pretty damn relaxed. He spotted James on the couch, staring up at the ceiling, and stopped, looking down at him, before going into the kitchen, grabbing two popsicles from the fridge and bringing them back out.

He plopped on the couch and handed James one – orange – and stretched his legs – in his nearly outgrown and thoroughly ridiculous Bugs Bunny PJ bottoms – out on the coffee table, sucking on his lime popsicle.

"You looked like a man with a problem," he said, after a few dedicated sucks. "And there's nothing like a popsicle while pondering."

He ran a free hand through his damp hair and made it stick up a little, then looked over at James. "You okay there, bro?"

James took the popsicle and raised a brow at Kendall, then his eyes widened when Kendall slid it into his mouth and… He was doing this on purpose. He had to be doing this on purpose because no one sucked on a popsicle like that without wanting to make the person across from them shift a little.

"I don't," he said softly. "I don't have a problem. I just…"

He trailed off and nibbled his lip, then slid his popsicle into his mouth and looked into Kendall's eyes as he sucked.

Two could play this game.

Kendall paused mid-suck. "You okay over there? You're looking at me weirdly. More weirdly than usual, even."

_And fucking STOP IT._

He looked down. "It's the pjs isn't it? You keep trying to throw these out, I keep finding them and you're irate about it, and sucking that popsicle like a porn star. Seems an odd combination, Jamie."

He had a hard time looking away, but finally managed. "You could have just done adult films if you were looking for work, you know that? For the audition, you just go in with a popsicle and do just what you're doing."

James sighed inwardly. Kendall was so fucking clueless, it wasn't even funny. "You're the one who could be a pornstar – I was just going to say the same thing to you. Dork."

He rubbed the back of his neck. "And no, it's not your ratty clothes or anything else. I'm just… I don't know. Lonely, I guess."

"Jamie, I very well may end up a pornstar, so I have to keep my options open and my mad skills intact. You know boy bands have a shelf life, so after BTR, and after hockey claims both my knees and lower back, I'll need a fall back."

He nodded, having planned this out in one of his tub sessions – he liked to think in there, in addition to the occasional bouts of self-abuse. "I figure I can be an asset in the film industry because of my… openness."

James' admission of loneliness wiped the smirk off his face, though, and he looked at James thoughtfully. "I'm sorry, dude," he said softly. "We need to find you a girlfriend. A nice girl, not some flaky actress type, but someone who is just cool, you know?"

He licked some more, unconsciously, then got up – stepping across James' legs – and came back with paper and a pen. "Okay, let's figure out your type. I just realized I have no clue what you really go for. Some friend I am."

He felt genuinely bad for not having realized that James was lonely. Some melted popsicle dripped onto his hand and he licked it off before starting to write.

James sighed. "I don't want a girlfriend, I–"

Oh boy, this could only go wrong…

"No girlfriend? What d'ya want, an orangutan?" Kendall barely looked up, then finished his columns, all neatly organized. Logan would be proud.

«Okay, so let's start with the top; hair and hair color. Blonde, brunette, black, red? Blue, pink, streaked?"

"Um… blonde," James started, licking his lips and still feeling relatively safe. Many blondes out there, so Kendall couldn't figure anything out from that.

"Okay, so blonde. Real blonde, fake blond, blond tips, streaks, bleach, ash, dirty blonde, strawberry blonde…?"

Kendall looked at him expectantly, pen poised. "And while we're on the subject of hair… long or short? Curly or straight? Or half and half? Conservative or not? Fashion forward or simple?"

James stared at him. "Are you serious? Dude. Do I really have to be _that_ specific? Can't blond just be enough? Cause… dude, I have no idea."

He took a breath. "Um… okay. I guess… kind of a mixed blond? Like, dark with highlights or something… and um. Short hair."

God, soon his "type" was going to be _so_ obvious that even Kendall couldn't be clueless anymore. Sooner or later, he was going to mention dimples, and _that_ would give him away for sure.

"Hey, I'm just trying to be conscientious," said Kendall, tapping the pen against his lower lip. "So, mixed blonde, short hair – that's surprising for you – mmm. Like Emma Watson? Excellent. Post-Potter, massively sexy pixie, all-legs Emma. Okay."

He looked over at James. "I applaud your taste so far. So, probably shorter than you, cause you decided to go all beanstalk – buff beanstalk – on us. Teeny, medium, almost your height? Can she wear heels? Do you want to be able to carry her around?"

He paused. "Hell, you can carry _me_ around. So okay. Now… eye color. Brown, blue, green, gray, hazel, violet, yellowish? Do you care if she has glasses? I like a girl in glasses but it's because I want her to whip them off and ravish me. You know, hot student stuff. And, hmmm, let me think."

James wore glasses sometimes, and God, didn't _that_ figure into his fantasies too – fucking YUM.

Carlos, listening to this from the top of Swirly, and knowing Stuff No One Ever Thought He Knew almost fell down the slide, but managed to stay upright, shaking his head; this was tragic, if not a little funny too. But mostly tragic.

_Knight_ was the one who needed glasses if he didn't see where this was going.

James hesitated. "Emma Watson is hot, and glasses are hot but… I just want a regular guy– GIRL!"

His eyes widened and he flushed, then continued talking quickly. "Um, shorter than me – but tiny isn't necessary; just a little shorter than me works too, and the eye color is, um, greenish? Green-hazel, I guess? And um… yeah."

He licked his lips and watched Kendall.

"Guy/girl? He/she? A tranny? James, you progressive pansexual, you." Kendall smirked, assuming James was being a dork, which was a fair assumption, he thought.

"Greenish," he noted. "Okay, so this is sounding doable. A tallish, green-eyed blonde."

He squinted at the list. "Aww, what, you want a girl!Kendall? Am I that irresistible?"

_If only. If ONLY._

James flushed even more, and didn't know what to say, and Logan, who had joined Carlos a few minutes ago, sighed. James looked like he was about to die or burst into tears; so someone needed to save him.

He slid down Swirly and came out downstairs, grinning. "Yo, Kendall! Why don't you find _me_ a new girl, huh?"

He flopped down on Kendall's lap and winked at James, then looked at Kendall. "Also, yes, you are irresistible and everyone wants a girl!Kendall. Right, Carlos?"

"Absolutely," agreed Carlos who had plopped himself on the other side of James. "I mean, I dream of a girl who's gangly and skinny with questionable hygiene, unruly hair, big feet and…"

"Hey, you know what they say about big feet," said Kendall, unperturbed. "Also, fuck you."

He studied the list and wrapped an arm around Logan. "James has me stumped, dude. Who looks like me?"

Carlos gaped, then groaned. Kendall had to be brain-damaged; there was no other explanation.

James looked at Carlos and shrugged, sighing softly. Kendall was unusually slow when it came to these things – but it was not necessarily a bad thing, to be honest. James wasn't ready to tell him yet – or ever – so it was good that Kendall was slow.

Kendall had never told either Logan or Carlos about James – it was his secret alone.

"Well," Logan said, pondering. "You could just throw on a dress and bat your lashes seductively, and you'd _have_ a girl!you. I mean, why is it always _me_ who has to wear heels and dresses, hmm?"

Kendall noticed nothing. Nothing.

Logan's suggestion made him laugh. "I could, right? But that would only work until James wanted to make out with me, and that would be awkward. Even if I brushed first."

He rested his head on Logan's shoulder. "You look great in heels and have maidenly curves," he said with a straight face. "Also, you could totally grow your hair, whereas I would look like a refugee from the Summer of Love."

He stayed leaning. "What kind of girl do _you_ like, Logie? I seem to know nothing of the female preferences of my buds. This perturbs me."

He looked over at Carlos. "I don't even think I wanna know about you, Garcia. Besides, you're having a love affair with your corndogs."

James looked at Kendall. Making out with him would be awkward? Well, thank you.

He leaned back and rubbed the back of his neck, sighing. He couldn't wait to go back to work tomorrow and just escape everything for a while.

Logan eyed Kendall. "Ahh, is that it? Except I don't have any curves whatsoever, you dork. I'm completely straight; no hips or anything. As for my type of girl… well, Camille comes pretty close, actually. Often I think she might even be _it_ for me, but then… there are other girls out there, you know? Don't wanna get attached too soon."

"Well, some guys like a streamlined figure," smirked Kendall. "And having no ass might work for you as a girl – aren't they always worried about their asses? But you and Camille are cute – you should go for it."

Kendall yawned into Logan's shoulder. "Getting attached… I don't know. Jo leaving just sucked and we were 'attached'. I don't want anyone else to leave me. So I'm just playing the field, except that the field is kind of empty."

_Except in my mind, but we're not talking about that here, ever._

Logan nodded. "I guess." Then he glanced over at Carlos and petted his hair. "Carlos' preference is "girl". He doesn't care about the hair color or body type; she just has to be a girl and into corndogs, and he's happy. Right?"

He smiled.

Carlos rolled his eyes at Logan. "I just like girls, all kinds, true. They have to be nice, and they have to be… well, cute to me, and I'm flexible."

"You're easy."

"That too." Carlos beamed. "And there are _so many_ girls, dudes! They're everywhere."

James wished he was still interested in girls – Carlos was right; they _were_ everywhere. It would make his life a hell of a lot easier if he could still motivate himself to court one of them. But sadly, the only person he _wanted_ to court was Tall, Blond and Eyebrows next to him here.

He sighed inwardly.

Logan was pondering Kendall's previous statement. "True, they are always worried about their asses. But they also complain when their asses are too flat. They complain about everything, don't they? Hmm. Are they ever happy?"

He ran his fingers through Kendall's hair, looking at him thoughtfully. "You know," he said slowly. "If you just opened your eyes and took a look around, you would see that the field is definitely _not_ empty."

He winked at James as he rested his head on Kendall's shoulder. "There are people around who would love to get the Kendall… experience."

"The Kendall experience?"

The Kendall in question snorted. "The experience is more of a non-experience, which is why all my relationships last mere weeks, if that. Maybe I'm just a really sucky boyfriend – and this is depressing. I started out just trying to find James a girlfriend, not one for me. It's just me and my hand from here on out."

Carlos glanced over at Logan, then at James and then shook his head. "Seriously, there's a massive brain-drain going down in this apartment," he muttered, getting up for his own popsicle. Which was _just_ a popsicle, to him.

"_Seriously_," Logan said in answer to Carlos and shook his head, then hopped off Kendall's lap and went to get a popsicle as well.

James just sat next to Kendall, nibbling his lip. He knew Kendall was an amazing boyfriend, and just wished he could prove it to him somehow.

He sighed softly and leaned back. When _had_ life become so complicated?

* * *

The next day, they had to be in the studio in the morning, recording a new song, then had the afternoon off, which meant James could go to work. He found that he actually _liked_ having something to himself that the others didn't have, and felt… well, needed. He always had something to do and was always greeted with a heartfelt "There you are!" the moment he arrived. Then a box was thrust into his hands and he was sent to do whatever.

Today was no different. All afternoon, he was unpacking and repacking clothes, folding them, cleaning up, helping customers… and he enjoyed it.

And in the evening, he was once again asked if he could close – he had by now figured out that Tabitha had a son she needed to pick up, and knowing what it was like to never have his mom around, James gladly took over for her in the evening, so that she could be where she was needed on time.

When the time came, he closed the shop, made sure the money was safe, the lights were turned off, and went into the storage room.

And looked at Kendall, the mannequin.

Tonight, he was completely alone, and the guys knew where he was, so he didn't have to worry about staying a little longer than usual. Still feeling completely ridiculous, James walked over to the mannequin and carried it over to the center of the room, looking at it. Him. It. Whatever.

"Kendall," he said softly. "I…" He trailed off and bit his lip. "I like you."

He took a deep breath. "I like you, Kendall. I'm in love with you, Kendall – why can't I just tell the real you this? And why can't you just _get_ that?"

He threw his hands up and sighed, rubbing his face. "It's frustrating, honestly. I mean, last night, Logan, Carlos _and_ I practically spelled it out for you, but you just don't get it, do you? It's like you're doing it on purpose – but I know you're not."

He looked at Kendall's face. "Am I just being too subtle? Do you need me to grab you and kiss you? Do you need… I don't know, sappy love letters with 'James loves Kendall' written all over them to fucking understand that I'm in love with you? Because I don't know how much more I can do to make you realize that you're the only one I want. I don't want you to find a girl for me – I just want you! Why can't I have you?"

He kept looking at the mannequin, expecting an answer, but of course none came. He pushed his hair back and sighed. "You're turning me into this pathetic little creep who talks to freaking _dolls_."

He glanced up. "No offence."

He rubbed the back of his neck and sat down. "You were so cute last night, though," he said softly. "Making a list, all organized, even though I know you're the least organized person ever."

He smiled to himself. "But it was cute. And before that, I had to leave the bedroom, you see, cause the way you moaned? I was imagining – or trying to – what you were doing to yourself in there, and I touched myself while thinking about you. I do that a lot, actually. Sometimes even when you're in the room. But last night was… fuck, those little whimpers and moans you make? Incredible. I mean it; they just turn me on so much."

In fact, just _thinking_ about those little sounds Kendall made was turning him on again, and he stared down at his erection incredulously. "See? This is what you do to me."

He licked his lips and rubbed his cock through his pants… then paused for a moment, pushed himself up and moved over to the mannequin. He stared at it for a moment, then shook his head and rubbed his eyes. "I must be insane," he murmured, licking his lips.

"I… brought you something," he said softly, reaching into his pocket and pulling out a tiny bottle of cologne. Then he sprayed some of it on the mannequin, and swallowed hard when he inhaled the scent of the cologne. It was Kendall's.

He licked his lips and decided to just stop thinking about everything, and focus on pretending his Kendall mannequin was the real thing. He grabbed it and pushed it against the nearest wall, pressing himself against it. He pressed his forehead against its shoulder and pressed his erection against the mannequin's hard crotch; he could easily pretend it was a real erection.

He started rubbing against it firmly, fisting Kendall's hair and breathing him in, imagining hot breath on his neck and hands touching him everywhere they could reach. He licked his lips and moaned softly, wrapping one arm around his neck, the other hand tangling in the plaid shirt. He kept his eyes closed and continued grinding against the mannequin, his moves getting a little more erratic as the pressure in his cock increased. It didn't take long before he came, throwing his head back and letting out a long gasp as he came into his pants, panting heavily when he let himself lean against Kendall.

But this wasn't Kendall, he told himself firmly when his brain started working again. This was a freaking mannequin that he'd just molested, and what kind of a sick pervert was he anyway?

He stepped back quickly and swallowed hard, feeling tears burning in his eyes.

What the hell was _wrong_ with him?

He swallowed hard, then made sure everything was in order before he started walking home, trying to clear his head and not feel guilty about what he'd done. It felt like he'd somehow… betrayed Kendall.

Back at the apartment, he was relieved when he didn't run into the others, and made his way straight to his bathroom where he took a quick warm shower, and then went to bed without dinner, even though he was starving. He just wanted to forget about everything, and wake up the next morning not in love with Kendall.

He could hope, right?

* * *

Kendall had had a relatively late guitar lesson, and was even later coming home because he'd taken an unfamiliar side street, gotten lost, retraced his steps and finally made it back to the Palmwoods. Honestly, he needed a GPS implanted in his bellybutton – the thought made him snort.

He'd been a little distracted today, which he normally never was, at least not while 'working', but he definitely was off at his guitar lesson, and walking home, he tried to figure out why and what was bothering him.

He knew the conversation the night before had gotten to him; James' admission that he was lonely had hit a nerve for Kendall, who was lonely too. He wasn't even sure he'd really been 'in love' with Jo, but they had liked each other a lot, done things together, talked, cuddled, made out – and a little more than that, though not all the way. She wasn't that kind of girl, she'd said, and he'd respected that.

Besides, soon it would be oceans of fangirls, right? All for them, and if he wanted that, they'd be willing. Good, right? Except it wasn't, cause Kendall knew he had to love whoever he did that with. Or like them a whole lot, at least.

And the fact that all he wanted was James was troublesome, too.

That whole thing with finding James a girl had gotten weird, and it had pissed him off a little that James had given basically a description of girl!him, hadn't taken it seriously. Did he somehow know and was making fun of him? Whatever. Fine then, he could find his own bloody girlfriend.

The other two weren't around when he got home, and he didn't feel like talking to anyone anyway. He made a sandwich, drank some milk, then went upstairs; his and James' room was dark and the other bed had a James-shaped lump in it, so Kendall sighed and pulled off his clothes, getting into bed.

He lay there, on his back, pondering.

Then heard this amazing stomach gurgle from across the room.

Kendall got up again, and went back downstairs in his underwear – who cared? – and made a PB&J and grabbed a bottle of water, then took it upstairs and moved over to James' bed.

"Here, eat this before you starve to death."

James could smell the sandwich before Kendall was even in the room, and looked up at him, squinting. Then he saw the sandwich and reached for it.

"You made this for me?" he asked, sounding touched, because he was. Kendall had heard his stomach, gotten up and gone downstairs to make him a sandwich, just because he was hungry. How sweet was _that_?

He rolled his eyes at himself, then sat up and took a bite. "Thank you. Didn't feel like making myself anything when I got back, and no one was home, so…"

He trailed off and ate.

"Well, you weren't gonna sleep if you were that hungry, and if you somehow managed to do it anyway, I'd be listening to your belly all night. So yeah. All's quiet on the Western Front down there anyway. Dunno where they all are, but just as well. Not feeling social."

He looked down at James for a moment, swallowing hard in the darkness. "You're welcome."

Kendall went back over to his own bed and got back under his covers, wishing he hadn't left his mp3 player at work.

James nodded. "I know… and thank you. I'm not feeling social either."

He finished his sandwich, then was silent for a moment and bit his lip. "Why aren't _you_ feeling social? Everything okay?"

"Then you get it," Kendall lay there and then sighed. "No, but it's no big deal. I'll get over it soon enough. Some days I just don't feel like talking about stuff, I guess; lots of stuff floating around in my head. You know how it is."

James eyed him. "There are days when you don't feel like talking? Since when?"

He gave him a smile, then rolled onto his side, looking at Kendall through the darkness. "In that case," he said softly, "I'll let you get some rest. Night, Kendall."

"Shockingly, yeah. Mark it on your calendar."

Kendall smiled back a little, and waved to James. "Okay. You sleep well, too. Night, James."

He listened to James fall asleep and was awake a longer time than usual, but finally, he was out too, dreaming deeply.

* * *

After that slightly weird night when Kendall didn't know what end was up, things returned to normal – well, as normal as life in 2J got, which was never very.

They went to the studio and sang well. They danced less well, but passably. They hung out at the pool. Logan continued to confuse both Camille and himself by not knowing what the hell he wanted. Carlos chased anything female in a skirt, shorts, jeans, bikinis or sarongs. Sometimes he even caught one of them. Kendall played his guitar, wrote songs and resisted Camille's efforts to 'hook him up,' even if he wasn't quite sure why.

And James worked; he was hardly ever home, and Kendall got used to having their room mostly to himself, to the point that when James _was_around, it felt weird. He was starting to wonder if James liked his co-workers at Abercrombie & Fitch better than him and the dorks – it seemed like that was the case.

Fine. Whatever. Diamond was making money, buying clothes, not bitching about his wardrobe, so fine if he was never around and didn't seem to give two fucks about what happened outside the studio. It wasn't like he and Diamond were close, or anything. Except Kendall had kind of thought they were; physical attraction (on Kendall's part, anyway) aside, he had thought they were friends, even best friends. But since James didn't seem to want any part of him, just sleeping or watching TV when he _was_ home, then fuck it. Kendall had been wrong before, and this was just one more time.

He had to get over Diamond anyway, so maybe the other boy was doing him a favor.

* * *

James had been working for a month when Carlos decided they should visit him there one afternoon. He rounded up Logan, who was easy, and then nudged Kendall on the couch, where he was watching "The Animaniacs."

"Hey, you coming to check out James' work?"

Kendall didn't even look up. "Nope."

"And… why not?"

"Don't feel like it. You two go, become one with the beautiful people. Take off your shirts, mingle."

Logan had kept watching James when he _was_ at home, and knew that his feelings for Kendall hadn't changed, and that his constant absence was probably a result of Kendall being as clueless as ever. And when Kendall said he didn't want to come, he eyed him and then flopped down on his lap. "Come ooon. You should come. It'll be fun."

He poked him.

"Ooof, Jesus, Log. How many corndogs have _you_ put away lately?" Kendall shifted cause Logan was getting heavy, then sighed. "I shouldn't, and it won't be fun. Diamond doesn't bother to talk to me when he's home, let alone when he's off playing in some snotty store, and since he could give two fucks, I will not even give one. You guys go – he apparently still likes you."

He flipped channels, reaching around Logan. "He doesn't ignore you, not look at you, barely say goodnight to you. I don't know what in fuck I've done, but this shit is old. So go pet him and his abs and if you wanna be a sport, grab me a gyro on your way home. Unless of course, he takes you to dinner, in which case, just fuck me and I'll make tater tots and call it good."

Logan sighed. Heavily. And stared at Kendall incredulously. Then he exchanged a look with Carlos that said plainly, "HE JUST DOESN'T GET IT, DOES HE?"

Then he sighed again and poked Kendall's nose. "Okay, grumpy. Just think about the reasons _why_ James might not be looking at you, all right? And don't only think of the negative reasons, because I'm pretty sure the actual reason is definitely _not_ a negative one."

He smiled. "Okay?"

He smooched his nose. "We'll bring you food, do not worry."

He hopped off Kendall's lap and walked over to Carlos to leave. "Oh, and also? I'm not heavy."

Carlos shook his head; honestly, he didn't see how Kendall could be as blind as he was and still navigate through life. How could he not _see_James, see how the other boy looked at him, see how he watched him, or sighed over him?

Unreal. Maybe Knight was just terminally romantically impaired. Or an idiot.

"You _are_ heavy, and don't poke me." Kendall poked Logan back, between the ribs, and then pretended he could breathe again when Logan stood up. "Nice smooch," he added. "At least you two boneheads still love me. Also? There is not even one reason why Diamond is suddenly all "I hate you" to me. Not one, and also? Also? He can piss off."

Kendall folded his arms and leaned back, and then yelled after them, "And extra sauce on the gyro!"

Then TweedleLogan and TweedleCarlos were gone, and it was just him again. Alone.

Kendall shut off the TV and went upstairs. So it was only 5 pm. Lots of people went to bed while the sun was still obnoxiously bright in the sky. Lots of people.

And James was still out there, just fine, happy, not caring – or, to be honest, _knowing_ – that he was breaking his friend's heart.

Ugh, fuck this shit.

* * *

After his meltdown, James did spend more time at work than he had to. Being around Kendall got increasingly hard, especially since James kept hinting at the fact that he was madly in love with Kendall, and Kendall just didn't realize it. It was insanely frustrating and James didn't know what to do anymore.

So he worked his ass off, spent his time at work almost every afternoon and evening, except the ones when they had to be at the studio. Every night, he closed up the shop, and went into the storage room to "play" with «Kendoll", as he had lovingly named the mannequin. He still felt guilty and weird about it at first, but the more he did it, the less he worried about it. It was the only way he would ever get to be as close to Kendall as he wanted to be, so he just stopped thinking about it and enjoyed his time in the storage room.

James was just sorting and reorganising a few t-shirts by size and color when he heard the door of the store open. He glanced over his shoulder; his eyes widened and he smiled when he spotted Carlos and Logan… but no Kendall.

His face fell.

"Hey!" Logan said cheerfully, bouncing over to him and looking around. "Look at you being all professional and fancy. And you even have a name tag! Wow."

He grinned and James rolled his eyes. "Yes, I'm being very professional and fancy… what are you guys doing here? I've never seen you wear A&F…"

Logan shrugged. "We can't afford it – but no, we just wanted to come and say hi; see you in action."

James nodded. "Oh, I see. And Kendall was busy, I guess?"

Carlos was eyeing Tabitha, who looked amused. "Hot boss," he said cheerfully, then shook his head. "No, he was watching TV, but he's under the distinct impression that you hate him now, so saw no point in coming with. He said you don't look at him, speak to him, and barely say goodnight, so the hell with it all and would we bring him a gyro. That was about the extent of it. Says he has no idea _why_ you hate him, you just do, so if that's your thing, that's your thing. Logan tried to clue him in, but I'm honestly starting to suspect that he's brain dead. His basic body functions operate on a stem."

"I don't _hate_ him," James sighed. "Why doesn't he get that? And I do talk to him. I just work a lot and I'm tired when I get home, and when he doesn't talk, then I just don't know what to say to him, except the obvious, and that's… not something I'm ready for just yet."

Logan sighed. "Well, _get_ ready because we can't go on like this. And why are you at work all the time anyway?"

James shrugged. "Because then I don't have to be around him all the time?"

He glanced to the door leading towards the storage room, where Kendoll was waiting for him, and blushed a little. If his friends only knew…

Logan noticed the look and narrowed his eyes. "What now? Is that where you hide your secret lover?"

His eyes widened a little. "That's it, isn't it? That's why you come home so late – you've met someone!"

James didn't have any other explanation to give, so he shrugged and bit his lip. "Um… maybe."

"He doesn't get it cause he's clueless, lonely and having a midlife crisis at sixteen, is what." Carlos batted his lashes at Tabitha, who laughed at him and held up a piece of paper on which was written. "Too Cute but Too Young."

Carlos sighed. "Dammit." He waved at her anyway, then turned back to James. "So, wait, what? If you're dating someone here, then why can't you talk to Kendall? There shouldn't be any more, whatchacallit, sexual tension, right?"

James sighed. "It's not… It's complicated. I can't explain it right now, I just… it's complicated."

Logan eyed him. "You're odd, James."

James raised a brow. "Thanks, Logan."

Carlos furrowed his brow. "You met someone, like them enough to be away from home all the time, but it's complicated?"

He looked over at Logan, and had to agree. "You are odd. Very much so. Logan and I are the only normal ones in that place."

James sighed and dragged the boys over to the counter. "Tabitha – this is Logan and this is Carlos, guys – this is Tabitha. Say hello."

He smiled at Tabitha, who smiled back. "Ohh, are these your infamous roomies? Oh my God. Good things do come in small packages, don't they?"

"My package isn't small," Carlos shared, not at all indignant – girls wanted to cuddle him and he enjoyed that. "It's disproportionally huge, actually."

She cracked up. "I'm sure it is, baby. And hi Logan. You're the smart one, yes? So all we're missing is…"

Logan grinned. "He says I'm the smart one? Aww, that's sweet. But yes, I am. Hi!"

"Kendall," James sighed. "Kendall's missing. He's busy. But you'll meet him someday, I think. But you guys should go; I've got work to do and…"

Logan eyed him. "Do you want to get rid of us? Dude, Carlos, he's trying to get rid of us! He's hiding something."

James wanted to die.

"Kendall is busy being pissy, not busy, but whatever. James and Kendall," said Carlos, being chatty, "are having interpersonal communication issues. And therefore, the apartment is having interpersonal communication issues, and they both need to get that fixed. And yeah, do you want to get rid of us? _Us_?"

He leaned on Logan, both of them giving James a _look_, and Tabitha tried to not laugh. "I'm sure James isn't hiding anything except his mad pectorals. He's one of the best people I've ever had in this store, honestly, and I work him hard, keep him late cause I can rely on him."

She smiled at him. "If I had more like James I could get rid of at least a few deadbeats around here. I keep hoping more like him will walk in; sweet, works hard, smart, great with people, pretty to look at."

James blushed. "Oh my god, are you serious? Thank you, Tabitha, I… wow."

Logan laughed. "Really? At home, he plays the princess who's too pretty to do anything, like laundry or dishes or stuff."

"Hey, I do help!" James protested.

"You do," Logan admitted. "But not always. And you always act like you're afraid to break a nail. You need a lot of prodding to move your butt off the couch and help – admit it. But _anyway_, let's go, Carlos. James obviously has work to do, and we have to take food to the Mighty Kendall."

Tabitha grinned at Logan and Carlos, then shrugged and turned back to James. "Really. I would not lie to you. I really appreciate how you're willing to close so I go get my son on time; all the others are like "Ohhh, but I have plannnnnns," and it's just bullshit. So no, James, thank you."

James smiled. "I'm glad to do it, honestly. If I can help, then it's really not a big deal."

She patted his shoulder and went to ring someone at the counter up, and Carlos raised a brow. "Dude, you have someone fooled – she should see your lazy ass at home. But yeah, fine, we'll let you be, go get The Walking Brow some food – extra sauce – and head out."

He smiled. "Proud of you, dude. And when you get home? We will be talking about this someone you met and why you've said nothing about her. Just be ready."

James took a deep breath and nodded. "Okay. I'll see you later."

He watched Logan and Carlos leave, then groaned inwardly.

FuckfuckfuckfuckFUCK. What had he gotten himself into now? How was he supposed to explain this?

James stayed at the store, saying goodbye to Tabitha when she left, then went to the storage room as usual, sighing heavily. "I just got myself into a hugely awkward situation. I told them I'm seeing someone and how am I supposed to just lie to them? I can't tell them about _you_obviously, because that would just make them think I'm some sick weirdo, and maybe I am."

He sighed and wrapped his arms around Kendoll. "It's not like I can tell them the truth, you know? That I'm in love with Kendall and I'm seeing you because it's just too hard to be around the real Kendall."

He groaned and leaned against the mannequin.

After a few long minutes, he then decided to go home, without his nightly session. On his way back to the Palmwoods, he picked up some food, and finally went home.

* * *

Carlos and Logan had stopped for food as promised, then arrived back at the apartment, dumping Kendall's bag in his lap, along with a cold Diet Coke. He hadn't moved.

Carlos looked at Logan and shrugged, then sat down opposite Kendall. "Guess what?"

"James is Employee of the Millennium?" Kendall's voice was heavy, and Carlos shook his head. "No, but his boss thinks he's all that. But no. He's met someone, has a new girlfriend! Cool, huh?"

Kendall looked up from his bag and blinked. "Does he now? Well, good for him; if she works there, she's probably as pretty as he is, and they can make beautiful plastic babies together. What's she like?"

He folded his bag back over. Well then, good for Diamond. Nothing like being a guy who has it all – he wouldn't know anything about that, but still, yay.

Logan flopped down. "We haven't met her… him… it. He just mentioned something about seeing someone. I don't know."

"Do you think it's a him?" Kendall looked up again. "I've always seen him as totally het. And when I tried to get his specs on a girlfriend, he didn't say he didn't want one."

Carlos looked at Logan, then at Kendall. "Your hearing is going, too – he slipped twice and said boy. Do you never listen?"

Kendall blinked. "I totally never heard that."

He took a breath. "So whatever – girl, boy, whatever. He has someone, so good for him."

He looked over at Logan. "You have Camille. Carlos always has someone to go to the movies with, and now James has Mr. or Ms. America, so that's great."

"I don't know if it's a him, but… I'm pretty sure it is," Logan said, nodding. "And I don't _have_ Camille. It's an on/off thing. And you could have anyone. Just saying. Now eat, honey, or your food will get cold."

"Keep telling me that, Log," said Kendall, looking down. "But it's fine, really. I have my music, you guys, my family – also you guys – so I can handle being alone. It's not the worst thing in the world."

He smiled at the 'honey' – honestly, Logan was a mother – and obediently ate.

That was when the door to the apartment opened and James came in, finding his friends gathered around the coffee table. He walked over to them and flopped down between Carlos and Kendall.

"Hi," he said, looking over at them. "What's up?"

He gave Kendall a little smile – God, he looked good tonight.

Kendall was still eating, looking up briefly when James came in and sat down, sans boy/girl/it-friend.

Carlos clapped his shoulder. "Food and casual convo, yo. That's about it. Came home alone? When're we gonna meet him? Or her? Which is it? And if it's a him, which is totally fine…"

He looked around and they all nodded, "Then how come you never told anyone?"

This was all for Kendall's benefit, since he and Logan had watched James' crush on Kendall grow from a little one to a great big huge motherfucking monster one.

Kendall wanted to know this too, and looked at James expectantly, giving him a little, tiny smile in return.

James took a breath. "I'm not actually seeing anyone," he admitted. "Not yet. I'm… there's someone I'm interested in, and have been for a while, and I just… I'm waiting for him to realize it."

He said all of this while looking at Kendall, then looked at Logan and Carlos briefly, knowing they knew who he was talking about. "And, um… yes. It's a him."

Done talking, James closed his mouth, and nodded to himself. Okay. So _that_ had been pretty obvious – if Kendall didn't get it _now_, then… he probably never would.

Carlos blinked, then was like ohhhhhh, but hid it well. Mostly. Pretty well.

Kendall watched James as he said all this, but all he heard was 'him' and 'someone I'm interested in'.

"Well, uhm, good for you," Kendall said finally. "I'm sure he's just as gorgeous as you, and you two will be, well, pretty together. So cool. Guess we'll see you even less now, huh?"

He picked at his gyro. "As long as you show up at the studio on time."

Kendall finally got up, wrapped up his sandwich – he'd totally lost his appetite – and stuck it in the fridge, then came back to the couch and sat down. "Congratulations. I didn't know you were into guys, but hey, if you're happy, it's all good, right?"

He still didn't want to ask what he'd done to the other boy, still didn't want to talk about it because he was confused about a lot of things at the moment, including why this felt like a punch in the back. And leaving the situation would only generate more questions, so he stayed quiet and pretended to watch TV, picking at the sole coming loose from his sneaker.

James looked at him, and suddenly just looked really sad. Kendall would never get it. And Kendall didn't love him or want him. In fact, it felt like he kind of hated him right now. And James wasn't sure why.

"Kendall," he said softly, biting his lip. Then he sighed and shook his head, and ate a few fries, looking thoughtful, and kind of miserable.

Logan looked at him and bit his lip, then looked at Kendall. He just wanted to grab their heads, smoosh their faces together, and yell, "NOW KISS!" like the stickfigure in that picture he'd seen online.

"James," replied Kendall after a moment, glancing over at him; James looked upset and he could only assume it was the cool lip-service that he'd given James' news.

And then he felt bad.

"Look, dude, I'm happy for you – sorry if it seems otherwise. Guess I'm just jealous, you know? Everyone seems to be doing okay romantically and I just can't. I'm not doing too well in that department so I guess I am just, yeah, jealous. If you're happy or will be soon, then that's good. It really is."

"You're jealous?" James looked up; this could be good.

But then Kendall said that he was jealous because James _had_ someone, not because someone had _James_, so he was jealous for the wrong reason.

"I'm never going to be happy," he suddenly said, a little louder than necessary. "I'm never going to be happy because I'm in love with an idiot; someone who doesn't seem to realize I even exist."

He rubbed his face and swallowed while Kendall blinked.

Okay, so that was loud, and a little too near his ear. "Dude, volume," Kendall muttered, then looked at him. "For fuck's sakes, James, no one can possibly know you don't exist. You pretty much make sure everyone knows who and what you are at any given time. If they don't know, they're a deaf-mute."

Kendall furrowed his brow, then. "How can you be… how can you _not_ be happy? You like someone, you're gonna be famous – they say – you're gorgeous, you come from money… I mean, seriously. Kids dying in Uganda can be unhappy. Radiation victims can be unhappy, a fat guy finding that Sonic is out of mayo can be unhappy. Not you."

He shook his head and went back to worrying the sole of his shoe. Honestly, what a drama queen.

James looked up and stared at him. "Thank you," he said quietly. "Thank you. I expected something like that from someone who doesn't know me, but I never thought I'd hear _you_ basically tell me I'm fucking shallow for being unhappy when I can't seem to fucking make the person I'm in love with love me back. Thank you, Kendall, really. That feels great."

He got up and grabbed his jacket. "I'm going… wherever. Away."

He swallowed hard, then left the apartment, and Logan resisted the urge to groan.

"I didn't mean that you were…" But James was gone, and Kendall rubbed his face. "You know what, I'm going to bed, maybe forever. Don't wake me anytime soon, 'cause I can't seem to do much of anything right."

He stood up. "Thanks for the food, dudes. I appreciate that."

Carlos looked over at Logan and shook his head, then shrugged. "Okay. We'll leave you alone, but Kendall? Think about what James said, what he has said for a while, and just… think. All right?"

Kendall looked at him and then rubbed his neck, going upstairs and looking at James' empty bed for a moment before getting into his own bed, pulling the covers up and burying his face in the pillow.

Kendall laid there in bed for a while, tossing and turning – he knew he'd really hurt James' feelings, and if he could find him, then maybe they could talk like they used to, be okay again. He had a feeling that would go a long way towards making him feel better, at least.

Maybe James too, he didn't know. At the very least, he could be a lot more of a sympathetic ear than he had been – be a friend, even if he would never, ever be anything else to James who now loved someone else. Someone not him.

He finally got up again, dressed, and went for a long walk. He felt like he walked a long, long way, although it was probably in circles, and finally wound up in front of the branch of A&F James worked at. He couldn't be there, of course, 'cause it was closed, but why was there a light in the back? A security light of some kind, or was he actually there?

Kendall went around to the back of the store, seeing a standard heavy iron door and stood there a moment, biting his lip. If he knocked, and James _was_ in there, wouldn't he be the last person Jamie wanted to see?

Dammit.

He bit his lip, wondering what to do.


	3. Chapter 3

At first, James had had no idea where he was going; he considered Camille's, or Lucy's, or even Guitar Dude's, but then realized that he had the keys to a fabulous place called Abercrombie & Fitch, so he went and bought some snacks and a bottle of beer, and went back to the store.

In the storage room, he made himself a comfortable little spot in the corner, grabbed his boyfriend – because he probably should get used to_this_ being as close as he'd ever get to Kendall and embrace the possibility that he was going to be dating an inanimate object for the rest of his life – and leaned against him, sipping his beer. Then he closed his eyes and just… shut down his brain while petting Kendoll's hair.

He sighed when his bottle was empty. He should've gotten two – but he didn't want to risk passing out and then waking up when Tabitha arrived in the morning; that wouldn't be a good idea. So he'd opted for one beer.

And a pack of cigarettes, just because.

Apparently, it made people feel better or more relaxed, and he and the other three _had_ smoked a couple of times in high school when it had been considered «cool" and they'd just wanted to try it out, so why not now? He was feeling rebellious, so whatever.

He stood up. "Gonna go have a smoke," he said to Kendoll, grabbing the beer bottle as well, to toss it. "Yeah, don't look at me like that." He sighed. "I know it's bad for me and bad for my voice and everything – but you shouldn't be the one to talk, you know?"

He eyed Kendoll, then rolled his eyes at himself – he did a lot of that – and just opened the door. He slid a box over to keep the door open, then tossed the bottle into the trash, and lit a cigarette, taking a deep drag. He coughed a little, then wrinkled his nose before taking another drag; this time, it worked better.

He looked up at the starry sky and sighed softly, blowing out the smoke.

When the door had started to open, Kendall had been briefly stuck in place, but fortunately, his feet had remembered how to fucking move by then and he managed to scramble around the side of the building.

Why he was hiding from James, he wasn't quite sure.

When the door didn't bang shut again, he peered around the corner and despite himself, had to smirk; _James_ was smoking? And here, everyone thought _he_ was the bad boy.

He kind of was, but that was beside the point. James doing the same thing he often got caught doing – and got yelled at for – was amusing as hell to him.

Kendall nibbled his lip, then, while James' back was turned, he softly slipped by him and stepped over the box to the back room, going inside. He took a breath and looked around with interest… then a figure caught his eye.

Kendall stared, eyes widening.

That mannequin was… him. Or pretty fucking close. And it was dressed like him, more or less, and even the hair was pretty spot on. And it was posed like it had been sitting there, shooting the shit with whoever was there with it.

Which was James.

Dude.

James finished his cigarette, then wrinkled his nose and threw it away before going back inside, staring at his feet to make sure he didn't trip – he did a lot of that.

"Heyyy, I'm back," he said softly, a little tipsy because he hadn't had eaten anything decent all day, and okay, he was a lightweight. So what?

"Did you miss me, Kendoll?" he asked, without looking up. "Tossed the pack, by the way" he said, pushing the box into the room. "So not worth–"

He froze when he looked up and suddenly saw Kendall.

The real one.

James jumped when the heavy door fell closed behind him, and silence fell over them.

He looked at Kendoll, then at Ken_dall_, and squeaked. "What are you _doing_ here?" he shrieked, blushing from the tips of his ears down to his toes, he was sure.

Kendall blinked. God, James was _loud_. There had to be a volume control on that boy somewhere.

Hot on the heels of that thought, came the realization that he really didn't know _what_ to say. Of course, that had never really stopped him before.

"I…" He started then rubbed his neck. "Is that my shirt? Cause it looks just like my… oh, wait, no. Uhm, _anyway_."

Kendall took a breath. "Look, I felt bad about how weird things have been with us lately, and then we argued tonight and you stomped off, and I just… I walked, and wound up here, and saw a light, and then you came out and… yeah, I kind of snuck in."

He folded his arms. "And what were _you_ doing out there, huh? You bad boy, you. And Logan yells at _me_."

He met James' eyes, then looked over at the mannequin. "But if I'm interrupting something…"

James took a shaky breath. Okay, so that sounded like a reasonable explanation, and it was kind of sweet that Kendall had wanted to come in and… apologize or whatever. It was.

But then Kendall looked over at the mannequin and James just wanted the ground to open up and swallow him and never let him out again, so he didn't have to explain this. Now that Kendall had seen the mannequin, he probably understood everything, and… oh fuck, how weird did this look?

He swallowed hard and looked down, shaking his head. "You're not. You're not interrupting anything. I was just… I…"

He waved his hand lamely, and realized that there just was no easy way of saying, "I'm a pervert and kind of in love with you."

So he just closed his mouth and bit his lip, then glanced up at Kendall, his cheeks dark pink.

Kendall had never seen James' face that color before, and in that one glance, a whole bunch of things started to make sense – or more sense.

He licked his lips. "I didn't mean to intrude – I just figured if I got your attention outside, you might just tell me to fuck off and slam the door in my face. You can throw me out now, if you want, but… I didn't mean to be an asshole. I was just, like I said, jealous, cause I've been really lonely lately and I've missed you, and I thought maybe you'd missed me too, but… maybe not?"

He looked over at the mannequin. "Maybe you've found a better me than… me."

James stared at him.

Only Kendall. ONLY KENDALL could see all of this and _still_ misunderstand the situation; think something like that. James wanted to shake him; laugh and cry at the same time, and just bang his own head against the wall repeatedly.

"No," he said desperately, taking a few steps closer. "No, Kendall – for fuck's sake, this isn't what this is at all. Don't you get it? I'm in love with you. I've been in love with you for months and months, and I've kept giving you all these _signs_, and you just misunderstand everything, and… do you just don't get how fucking attractive you are? I mean honestly, anyone else would've figured it out by now, but…"

He shook his head. "Never mind." He took a deep breath, then looked up, forcing himself to meet Kendall's eyes.

"I'm in love with you, Kendall. And Kendo– I mean, the mannequin is in no way better than you, but it's the only way for me to be with you. And I wasn't here so much because I hate you or prefer spending time with an inanimate object; it's just so hard to be around you when I know I can never have you. That's the only reason why I might have been avoiding you lately, but… I love you. I'm head over heels in love with you, and I'm obviously losing my fucking mind because I spend every night with a fucking _doll_, just to feel a tiny bit closer to you."

He bit his lip. "I just… I love you. Okay? That's all. I'm just in love with you."

Kendall looked stunned.

James loved him. James. Was in love. With _him_.

And the doll was him, and James found it easier to spend time with a mannequin than him, because presumably, the mannequin had more of a clue.

Holy shit, where had he _been_? And why hadn't he seen this, and why hadn't he understood that James felt like he felt and…

He chewed on his own lip while his mind flashed back over the past month, and even before that, and… girl!Kendall had really just been him and… Jesus. There was clueless and idiotic, and then there was _him_.

"Jamie, I'm so… sorry, dude," he said faintly. "I honestly… none of this ever occurred to me. And I made you feel… God. Really, I am…"

Kendall took a deep breath. "You love me. You sincerely love me, enough to… did you pretend he was me, talk to him cause at least he wouldn't say anything stupid or unfeeling when you were trying to get a point across?"

He glanced over at the mannequin and had to smile a little. "He does look more intelligent than me."

James swallowed hard, his heart beating fast, then he had to snort. "He's not more intelligent than you are," he said, rubbing the back of his neck. "He's pretty quiet. Which isn't fun cause one of the things I love most about you _is_ that you never shut up. But yeah."

He blushed again. "I did pretend he was you, talked to him, told him everything I couldn't tell you, and…"

_Molested him like a fucking perv…_

"Well, at least he's a good listener… and has better hair." Kendall squinted at Ken_doll_. "And see, I knew you loved my motormouth – you just pretended to want to duct tape my mouth shut last week, right? And smother me with a pillow when we were twelve and…"

He paused; James' blushing was amazing. And adorable.

And hot. And he wanted him.

Kendall licked his lips and took a step closer to James, his eyes moving between James' eyes and his lips.

"Head over heels in love, huh?"

James swallowed hard and nodded faintly, licking his lips. "Yeah," he whispered. "Head over heels."

Then he leaned in and pressed his lips against Kendall's, realizing that this may be the only time he would ever have the courage and opportunity to do this. He cupped Kendall's cheek gently, brushing his lips over Kendall's slowly and tilting his head to kiss him more fully. His heart was racing and his stomach almost hurt because of all the fluttering that was going on inside it.

Before Kendall could move any closer, James had leaned in and kissed him, and Kendall's stomach flipped over too as James' lips met his. He made a tiny, soft sound and slid his arms around James' neck and pulled him close, crushing their lips together, his heart pounding. He closed his eyes, feeling shaky, and threaded his fingers into James' hair.

James' heart skipped a beat and he felt nervous and relieved at the same time. He had imagined this scenario countless times, but he'd never imagined that Kendall would really kiss him back.

But he _was_ kissing him back, and that tiny little sound almost killed James. His stomach fluttered as he pulled him flush against him and kissed him deeply, parting his lips and sliding his hands into his hair, then down his back again, keeping his arms wrapped around him, holding him close.

Kendall kept one hand in James' hair – that he was actually being allowed to touch – and ran the other one down his chest, then his side, finally reaching around to press against the small of his back, rubbing slowly. He had never kissed a boy before – not seriously; random drunken Truth or Dare didn't count – but kissing James felt like coming home, like it was the perfect, necessary thing to do. And it felt better than any kiss ever had before; just like he had known it would.

When they both needed to breathe, they pulled back, just a little, and Kendall pressed his forehead against James.

"Baby," he whispered, not even conscious of the endearment. "James, that was… perfect."

When Kendall called him baby, James looked up in surprise and studied Kendall's face; could it be that maybe Kendall had feelings for him too? It didn't seem possible but Kendall did look a little flushed, and the look he was giving him…

"I… it was," he admitted. "I didn't think I'd ever get the chance to do this."

"I never thought you'd want to." Kendall's voice was a little hesitant. "I mean, in all the times I've thought about it, it seemed fairly unlikely that you'd be up for it, so I never, you know. Pursued it."

He swallowed. "When Jo left? I was sad for a while – she was my friend as well as being my girlfriend – but when I was past the fact that she was gonna be gone for a while, I had to think about what I might want now, and I…"

He stopped and took a breath. "I thought about you, like I have for a lot of years. It's like I let myself think about you every couple of years to see if anything had changed, but it never did. You seemed to be fine dating girls and I was too, but I never saw any indication that you wanted anything else, so I'd shove it back down and just go on cause… well, because. Because there was nothing else to do about it. I got so good at pretending I never felt anything that I didn't see that you did."

Kendall looked down. "It was easier to just be clueless than to see any hints and misinterpret them, and maybe lose you altogether."

James looked at him and bit his lip thoughtfully, then tilted Kendall's chin up and pressed a soft kiss against his lips. "You would never lose me." He looked into his eyes and rubbed his nose against Kendall's lightly. "Ever. Okay?"

He gave him another kiss; a soft, gentle one, and let his eyes flutter closed. He stroked Kendall's hair and the back of his neck, then, when he'd finally processed the other boy's words, he wrapped his arms around his back and pulled him as close as he could.

Kendall liked him. Kendall loved him. Kendall wanted him. He didn't have to bother with the mannequin anymore because he could have the real thing.

That realization took his breath away and he drew back a little, staring into Kendall's eyes and breathing heavily.

Kendall knew James took a moment to process, and sometimes he liked to think he could watch words and ideas link up in his head. James was the most transparent person in the world and still, he, Kendall, hadn't seen a thing. Or he'd made himself believe he hadn't.

The soft little kisses were so sweet, and he couldn't help smiling against James' lips, then hugged him back tight – not even light could twist its way between their bodies right now, and Kendall rested his head on James' shoulder, closing his eyes for a moment as James' fingers tangled in his hair.

_Five, four, three, two, one…_

The corner of Kendall's mouth turned up as he looked back at James. "Yeah, I do want you, Jamie," he said softly. "I'm sorry that I didn't let myself see that you wanted me too, but you see, I honestly had given up hope by now. But if you want me, then… I want you too."

He sighed a little. "Even if you don't, I still will always want you. I always have, and I don't see that stopping anytime soon."

James swallowed hard. "You have no idea how long I've waited to hear you say that and I can't believe you've felt the same for a while; I literally had no idea. You never gave me even the slightest hint and I know I'm probably not any faster than you are when it comes to realizing those things, but I think I would've noticed. So, yeah, if you were trying to hide it, then you did a fabulous job."

He took a deep breath and pressed their foreheads together. "But yes. Of course I want you. I'm not stupid enough to let you go now that I finally have you."

He looked into his eyes and gave him a little smile.

"You're not, huh? I didn't think so."

Kendall slid his hand back into James' hair, tugging gently on the ends, soft against his fingers. "Of course the other two have known all along – so much for the 'what the fuck is WRONG with you' looks I've been getting for a month. I'm so used to that expression that it didn't even register."

He looked into James' eyes and had to smile back. "So… that mannequin… maybe it was a sign or something. He does have better hair and probably a more affable personality."

James was warm, almost hot, and their bodies were still pressed tight together, but Kendall didn't want to let go.

James groaned. "Don't ever mention that mannequin again, I swear. I've spent way too much time with it this past month, and God, I've been feeling so guilty and like a huge perv."

He took a breath and pressed his face into his neck, breathing him in. Then he was silent for a moment and lifted his head, looking at him dreamily.

Kendall grinned. "Oh come on… he listens, doesn't steal your last clean socks, make fun of your styling putty, borrow money and never repay it, drink all your watermelon Gatorade or make you watch Sports Center six times in a row. He's quiet, mellow, always hard…"

He paused. "Well, me too on that last one, but still."

He kissed James' ear, and kept hold of him, then touched his cheek, touched by the dreamy expression, aware that his own was about the same.

"Oh, shut it," James murmured, smiling. "You're way better. And he may be hard, but he's not very comfortable when you rub–"

He stopped abruptly and his cheeks turned pink again. "Um. Yeah."

He buried his face in Kendall's neck again and hugged him. Again.

Kendall's brows shot up – both at the same time, for a change – and he glanced sideways at the doll, then almost died. Quietly – also for a change.

James had rubbed up on the mannequin, pretending it was him. Oh God. That was both disturbing and oddly, one of the hottest things he could imagine. He wished he could see that, actually. Security tape, anyone?

He kept James pressed warm against his body. "I could give you something more pliant to rub against," he whispered in James' ear. "Something that would actually rub back against you, too, and kiss you, and touch you, and whisper ridiculously sweet and sappy things in your ear. If you want, that is."

The whisper in his ear made James shiver, his breath hitch and press even more against Kendall. "I'd like that," he whispered. "I'd like that a lot…"

He kissed Kendall's jaw. "Take me home?"

"Sure."

Kendall closed his eyes for a moment, then cupped James' face and kissed him slowly, deeply, licking his bottom lip softly and then pulling back.

"While we can still walk straight," he murmured and stepped back.

James nodded and swallowed hard, taking a deep breath. "Okay."

He licked his lips, then went over to the mannequin and picked it up, putting it back with the other ones. He glanced at it briefly, then bent down and picked up the bag with his snacks and the keys, and went back to Kendall. "All right, we can go."

Kendall watched him, trying to get it through his head that this was truly happening; James loved him, wanted to be with him in all the ways you could be with someone, had wanted this for a very long time.

All the missed or barely-missed glances, all the little smiles, heated cheeks, brushes of hands against hands… random stiffies.

He smiled, thinking about that episode on the floor. That hadn't been random at all.

Kendall opened the door and stepped out – it was raining now, just lightly, but steadily, and when James had pulled the self-locking door tight behind him, he reached for his hand and wrapped his fingers around him, tilting his head up so the rain slid off him – it felt cool on his heated skin.

James looked at him and sighed. "Figures that you're wearing a white shirt when it's raining, you bastard."

"Totally unplanned, too," smirked Kendall. "I'd say sorry, but I'm really not."

James gave him a little smile, then squeezed his hand and they walked back to the Palmwoods, fingers laced tight together.

Kendall didn't bother wiping the smile off his face as they walked, because for the first time in too long, he felt happy – not because a song had gone right, or because he hadn't fallen on his face during a dance practice or any other little reason; he was happy because after what felt like forever, he had James. He understood now what had been going on, and let's face it. James had found a replica of _him_ to be with when the real him was, well, unavailable.

Odd? Yeah? Kind of cool and weirdly sweet? Oh yeah.

They were soaked when they finally arrived and entered their bedroom, but instead of taking his clothes off right away, James reached for Kendall first, pulled him into a long, warm kiss and slid his hands under his t-shirt, stroking his warm, wet skin.

Kendall slid his hands up James' sides as they kissed and concentrated on the dual sensations of being kissed – and amazingly so – and touched.

James kissed him for a long moment, kissing him the way he'd always wanted to kiss Kendall, then drew back slowly and tugged Kendall's shirt off him. He touched bare skin, running his hands over Kendall's still slightly wet shoulders and back, then his chest, brushing his thumbs over his nipples as he kissed him again. He kicked off his own shoes, then broke the kiss again, briefly, to tug off his own t-shirt; needing to feel Kendall's skin against his own after having spent so much time just imagining it.

He sucked Kendall's bottom lip into his mouth and looked deep into his eyes, then gently pushed him towards his bed. He wasn't sure how far Kendall wanted to go, but anything was fine with him right now. He just wanted to hold Kendall and kiss him and be with him.

Kendall let James pull off his shirt, let him direct the whole thing actually cause he was still a little stunned and James had obviously been thinking about these moments, and hey, take-charge James was sexy.

Well, all types of James were sexy, but this one was really, really working for him right now.

He shivered when his nipples were touched – they were so extraordinarily sensitive that he could probably come just from a little abuse there – and then wrapped his arms around him, running his fingertips over the broad muscles of James' back. His boy was built.

His boy. It would take some time to get his mind around _that_.

Kendall closed his eyes when James sucked his lower lip, then opened his eyes to meet James', and let himself be drawn back to the bed. He was up for whatever James wanted – his v-card, for example.

James looked into Kendall's eyes, then reached down and unbuttoned Kendall's pants – he still couldn't believe he was allowed to do that. Then he tugged them down and swallowed hard when he could clearly see Kendall's erection in his briefs. Fuck, that was sexy.

He swallowed hard and pulled down his own pants, then gently nudged Kendall onto the bed, sliding on top of him. Then he looked down at him, and opened his mouth, looking, for a moment, like he wanted to say or ask something, but then changed his mind and just kissed Kendall again; whatever they were going to do was going to happen; if Kendall wanted more, he would let him know.

Although, not talking about stuff hadn't really worked out for them in the past, so maybe he _should_ ask.

Kendall glanced down when James pulled his jeans down, his attraction and frankly, need, very, very obvious. And when James pulled his own jeans off, Kendall took a breath, cause God, _James_.

Sure, they'd seen each other naked or nearly so before, but this was different. James was hard for him, and he was hard for James. This was no dream, no random, passing "I'm tired" (right) stiffie – these were hard-ons with _intent_.

He lay back, pulling James on top of him, and wrapped his arm around his back, the other hand going back to tug and stroke The Hair. He was so going to do that all the time now.

For now, though, he concentrated on kissing James back, slowly, exploring his mouth and just feeling.

James deepened the kiss and stroked Kendall's arms gently, then cupped his cheeks and kissed him a little harder, needing him. He shifted, and their cocks were pressed together in the most incredible way James could imagine, and he let out a soft moan, pressing down on Kendall a little.

Fuck, that felt good, and James wanted… he just wanted. He wanted Kendall; all of him, but if they just kept doing this all night, it would be enough for him too. He just wanted to be close to him.

James' weight atop Kendall felt amazing; all of them were pressed together now and when James shifted, the sudden friction made Kendall whimper like he had in the storeroom. He'd never heard himself make that sound before, but then again, he'd never been making out with James before, or rubbing off on him.

He didn't know exactly what James wanted tonight; he didn't know if James had had sex before with a guy. He was pretty sure that he hadn't, but knew he'd been with a girl – they all had.

Except him, and that worried him a little. He didn't think anything would hurt, but just…

He wanted to be good at this the way he was at hockey, the way he was at singing, the way he was at a bunch of things. But this was new.

The kiss broken, he licked his lip and looked up at James in the light from the streetlamp.

James looked down into his eyes and took a breath. Then he leaned down and kissed Kendall's jaw and chin, and those freaking dimples, smiling against his cheek.

Then he nuzzled him and finally lifted his head and looked down at him, their noses almost touching.

"What do you want?" he asked softly and simply, after wondering for a moment how to ask him. "I mean… do you want to get out of these wet boxers? And then, can I touch you? Kiss you? And… more?"

The dimple kiss made Kendall laugh. "They're their own entities," he said, touching James' cheek. "On you, there's so much gorgeousness, it'd be overkill."

He nuzzled James back, nosing still-damp hair, then looked into his eyes, and swallowed at the simple, direct question. "I do want to get out of these and under the covers with you," he said softly. "I want to see and touch all of that beautiful body, and I want you to touch me and kiss me, all of that."

He took a breath. "I've never had sex before," he said simply. "So this is all new, so if you can just be patient with me, then that would be…"

He flushed. "That would be amazing."

"Of course I am," James said softly. "I've never had this kind of sex before either, so it's new for both of us, kind of. But we can totally wait for a while. I just want to be naked with you, touch you, get to know your body… maybe it's too soon for anything else anyway. We should take our time and just, yeah. Explore first."

He gave him a sweet little smile and brushed a kiss over his lips. "You're adorable when you blush. It's not something you get to see a lot; nothing seems to _make_ you blush. I like that I'm the reason for this one."

He kissed his warm cheek and nuzzled him again, then closed his eyes and breathed him in, and then finally reached down to rid them both of their boxers and pull the sheets up and over them.

"I haven't had it at all, so yeah, and that sounds good, just learning each other."

Kendall smiled back at him, and touched his cheek while they kissed. "I know, right? You're special. Dunno how you managed it, but you have – I've never seen _you_ blush the way you did at the store, like, ever. It was a pretty shade of pink."

He tilted his head to kiss the side of James' neck, then sighed. "This is… we've known each other forever, and yet it kind of feels like we just met, somehow."

Kendall was glad to get the damp boxers off and toss them aside, to be warming up, naked against James' body.

James made a soft sound and sighed. "I was embarrassed. I still am. But I was just trying to be close to you in some weird way, so yeah."

He stroked Kendall's neck and nodded. "It does – kind of a mix between knowing you forever and getting to know you just now. It's kind of nice."

He nuzzled him, then kissed him again, sliding his hand down Kendall's side, stroking gently.

"Don't be, baby; I was touched – still am, too. I just wish I hadn't been so intent on avoiding hurt that I actually wound up creating it. You should have smacked me, said "Wake the fuck up, Knight! I want you bad."

Kendall smirked a little. "That would have been something to hear in the shower or whatever."

He glanced down for a moment, then back up through his lashes. "A lot of the time, when I was wanking? I thought about you, especially in the tub, cause I liked imagining you wet."

He rubbed his face with his free hand. Now _he_ was pink, and let his other hand stroke down the long plane of James' back. He wanted to touch him everywhere.

James looked down at him and smiled. "Touched? Huh. I thought you'd be horrified. I'm glad you're not, though."

"Well… it wasn't what I expected to see, really, and okay, it was a little odd, but when I understood why, I just felt like – you wanted me so much that you literally found another me. Kind of. He was better-looking and has never had a zit, I guarantee you."

Kendall grinned, because this topic wasn't dead and he still planned to get some mileage out of it when they weren't naked and cuddly.

James shook his head. "No, he – it was a very poor replacement for you. I felt so stupid most of the time, but at the same time, it gave me the opportunity to finally say all the things I'd been meaning to say to you for ages but never really could say. If I'd known how you feel, I would've said them to you right away."

He kissed the corner of Kendall's mouth. "Either way, you're much better than him. You're perfect."

"Jamie, you know better than that – I am so damn far from perfect that I can only view that planet with a telescope, but hey, if you wanna think so, who am I to contradict you?"

"I know you, yes, but I do think you're pretty close to perfect. Or at least perfect for me."

Kendall couldn't help smiling; James' rationale made perfect sense to him. "Okay, perfect for you," he whispered. "I can handle that."

James smiled, then stared at him. "So you were thinking about me when you were in the tub, making those incredible sounds?"

He flushed. "I mean… um. Okay, so I sort of eavesdropped and, uh, touched myself… during."

Before Kendall could say anything else, James blushed again, and Kendall smirked at him. "I was, and you were, huh? You should have come on in and touched yourself for me."

Kendall leaned up and licked a slow trail up James' neck. "I'd love to see you do that sometime – just for me."

James' breath hitched and he swallowed hard. "Oh, I will. Definitely. If you do the same for me…"

He smiled, then closed his eyes and kissed him again, and finally reached down and wrapped his hand around Kendall's cock.

The thought of James spread out and touching himself for him made Kendall's cock, already hard just from being pressed against the other boy's warm body, twitch almost painfully. Now that was something to wank over.

He wrapped an arm around James' neck and licked his top lip before kissing him back, and moaning into the kiss when James cupped him; he reached down between them, wrapping his hand around James' and squeezing.

Yeah, he liked it rough, a little painful; he'd teach James what to do to him. Just because no one else had touched Kendall that way yet, didn't mean _he_ hadn't. He knew exactly what he liked.

James closed his eyes and moaned when he was grabbed and squeezed. He did the same to Kendall, figuring he liked it that way, and apparently he was right, judging by the look on Kendall's face.

He kissed him deeply, sliding his tongue into his mouth, his hand speeding up.

Hearing James moan for him was surreal, though – he'd moaned over James a fair amount in his lifetime, but he'd never truly thought for a moment it would ever be reciprocated, and just the sound alone was enough to make him echo it. He kissed James back almost frantically, hard, letting James take over his mouth and pushing back against the hot hand on his cock.

James continued thrusting forward into Kendall's hand while moving his own roughly on Kendall's cock. He seemed to be enjoying it, and his moans were the most erotic thing James had ever heard. Soon, he was close and panted into Kendall's ear. "Close," he whispered. "Come for me; with me…"

Kendall touched James they way he liked to be touched, figuring James would tell him if it wasn't working for him, but James' breath was coming fast and those sounds, Jesus God, those sounds – the boy could make any song sound sexy and apparently, it translated well to sex.

He should have known.

Kendall loved that James had gotten immediately to not be gentle, at least not now, and he was so close too, that he could only nod, James' breath in his ear driving him crazy.

"You too," he whispered hoarsely, then came into, onto James' hand, nearly whimpering as James squeezed again, wringing him dry.

Kendall's hand tightened around him when he came, which sent James over the edge and made him moan and press his face into Kendall's neck as he jerked forward and trembled from the force of his orgasm.

Then he let go of Kendall's cock and collapsed on top of him, panting.

Kendall still had his arm wrapped around James and felt his body shake as he came, and with that, he felt this odd sense of… triumph, maybe? His touching James had created this quivering, shaking, moaning reaction. He had done this.

He stroked James' damp neck and nuzzled him, concentrating on breathing again.

James finally took a deep breath and nuzzled him, smiling. "Okay. That? Was way more amazing than rubbing against a mannequin."

He nuzzled him and nibbled Kendall's earlobe lightly. "You are amazing," he whispered, kissing his temple.

"I bet he doesn't moan like me," murmured Kendall, then smiled against James' skin. "Or like you, and fuck, that's sexy when you do that. I'm gonna make you do that all the time now."

He took a breath and shivered when James nibbled and kissed him. "I am," he agreed, then laughed quietly. "Not quite as amazing as you though. Gives me a goal to work towards."

He slid his hand into James' hair and brushed his lips over James' neck, then sucked lightly, not enough to leave a mark, but enough. "I can't believe you love me," he whispered. "Seriously. And I didn't see a thing."

"No, he doesn't moan," James said, grinning. "And it is, huh? I'll keep that in mind."

Then he looked at him, shaking his head. "I can't believe you didn't see it – I was _so_ obvious!"

He shook his head and snuggled into him, wrapping his arms around him.

"What can I say? I guess I see what I want to see."

He shrugged, giving James an ingratiating smile. "Sorry?"

Kendall wrapped his arms around James, cementing them in a sticky mass, since neither of them had cleaned up – well, other than wiping their hands on James' sheets, which _he_ would be washing – and let out a long breath.

"So what now?" Kendall felt a little weird to be asking this, but since he'd been behind during this whole thing, he figured maybe he and James being on the same page for a change might be a good thing.

James looked at him and raised a brow. "What now? Well, it's getting late and we have to be at the studio pretty early tomorrow morning, so I thought we could sleep now… Or, if you were talking about us…"

Kendall looked at him and rolled his eyes. "Really? Yes, I was talking about us, if there was gonna be an us, if you wanted that after this, or if you were disappointed and thought you could do better, or if…"

James looked at him and brushed his hair back. "I want to be with you. I want us to be together. If you want that, that is. So… do you want to be my boyfriend, Kendall?"

But James was dispelling any little fears he had with his words.

"You do? And you're seriously asking me this?"

Kendall gave James a look. A _look_. "Yeah… I do want that. I want that more than just about anything in the world, besides, say, superpowers and an evil clone. But barring those, then yeah, being The Boyfriend of The Face, The Body and The Hair Diamond is not a bad thing."

James grinned. "Yes, I'm seriously asking you this – you never know, right? You might have changed your mind in the meantime."

"In the last two or three minutes, yeah. You know me, indecisive and all that."

James grinned, then kissed his forehead. "Oh, really? You _have_ superpowers and an evil clone. You are the evil one – maybe you could have a _good_ clone, but…" He smiled. "And you do have superpowers because you made me fall in love with you like whoa, and no one's been able to do that yet. So…"

Kendall looked up at James who was still on top, and that would _so_ have to be remedied, but later. James was not a top – there was no way – and he smiled. "You can be my good half, and I'll keep being my evil self, and it will all work out."

He nodded, then cupped James' face in his hands and looked into his eyes. "That's the most heroic thing I've ever done, true."

Kendall let his eyes travel over James' face and then kissed him lightly, for a long moment. "I do love you. I'm sorry I didn't see and that it hurt you. I would never do that to you on purpose, Jamie. You know that, right?"

"I know that. Of course I know that. And I'd love to be your good half, bad half – whatever you want me to be."

James smiled at him and gave him another long kiss. "Spoon?" he asked then, smiling as he turned around and felt Kendall wrap himself around him. He closed his eyes and breathed him in, then sighed happily, and fell asleep a short time later, happier than he'd been in a long, long time.

* * *

When James woke up the next morning, for a moment, he thought he was still in the storage room at Abercrombie & Fitch, but then he realized that the person snuggled into him wasn't cold, hard and plastic, but warm, soft and _real_. He turned around in Kendall's arms and stared at his sleeping face, a wide smile appearing on his lips.

So it hadn't been just a good dream; it had actually happened.

He grinned, then slid out of bed, naked, and did a little happy dance for several minutes; he couldn't help it.

Kendall blinked when James moved – he'd woken in the night and had his own "how the fuck did _this_ happen" moment before grinning into James' neck.

Now, he opened his eyes after a moment, only to witness the single most incredible thing he'd _ever_ seen Diamond do. Also, the cutest, dorkiest, and just most unbelievable thing ever.

He propped his head up on his hand and watched with a huge grin on his face. "Shuffle two steps to the left and you'd make our choreographer see God."

James gasped and jumped when he suddenly heard Kendall's voice. He whirled around and stared at him, then gave him a grin. "I know, right? He'd love this."

He grinned, then wiggled his hips again, making his cock swing from side to side, before he laughed and crawled on top of Kendall, tickling him first, then kissing him deeply. "Good morning, babe."

"Hell, _I_ love it. I'm gonna demand that you start every day with a little dance, cause it totally woke me up. All of me," he added meaningfully, then laughed at James too, and reached for him on the bed.

Tickling was evil and he squeaked, but James kissed him before he could retaliate and he found himself kissing James back, sliding a hand down his side and onto his ass, squeezing gently.

James broke the kiss after a while and smiled. "Is this what I get to wake up to every morning? Cause I approve."

He tensed his butt muscles for a moment, giving Kendall a grin, then kissed his nose and forehead, and frowned when he heard noise downstairs. Then he glanced at the clock and sighed. "Guess breakfast's ready, huh? Think we've got some time for this _and_ a shower or…" He paused, then looked like he'd just had the most brilliant idea ever. "We could do _this_ in the shower!"

Kendall face-palmed; James got a lot of bright ideas over the course of a day, but this one had some merit. And besides, they had Kendall and Logan to plot and scheme. He was dating one of the Muscles of the group, and, possibly, the most Charming one, though they all had their moments.

Oy.

"Yeah, you get to wake up to this, if you want, baby."

Calling James baby was new to him too, and he let the word roll off his tongue and smiled at how it sounded. Baby. Jamie-baby. Oh God.

He slapped James' taut butt and looked at the clock too. "We might, if you spend less time flexing and blow-drying, and more time feeling me up under the spray. Your choice."

James pondered this for a moment. "I'll let The Hair air-dry for once – only for you. And flexing isn't necessary either, so… it works! I'll feel you up, I promise."

"Be still my heart – what if it wings out on the sides? What if it won't lie down?" Kendall pretended to be horrified, but got up and went into the shower with his boy. He never gave a damn about his hair or flexing, so he figured he was good.

James grinned, and then did grope him, taking Kendall into the bathroom and pulling him under the spray where they made out, groped each other, and finally finished with an amazing orgasm that suggested that the day they were about to begin was going to be great!

James looked at Kendall with a love-sick smile when they dried off and got dressed; he couldn't take his eyes off his new boyfriend, now that he was allowed to stare at him.

Shower groping and shower _coming_ was an amazing way to start your morning, noon or night, thought Kendall, and when they were dressed, he feared he might have the same expression on his face as James had on his.

He blushed again under the gaze, and wondered at himself.

James smiled. "Ready for breakfast, boyfriend?" he asked finally, reaching for his hand. "Come on, baby."

He kissed Kendall's hand gently, then his lips, and took him downstairs – via Swirly. Kendall took his hand and then snorted as they went down the slide, still holding hands like they were six.

When they arrived in the living/dining room/kitchen, Logan and Carlos stared at them. "Um… okay. When did _you_ make up?"

Kendall looked up at his friends, and had to grin.

"Last night," he said, pulling James up with him as he stands. "We, uh, talked… and stuff."

"And stuff?" Carlos tilted his head. "What kind of stuff?"

"Dirty stuff. Sticky stuff."

Logan stared. "You didn't! Did you? Cause if you did, I'm going to do a fucking happy dance now."

"I already did one," James said thoughtfully, then grinned at Kendall, pulled him close and kissed his lips.

Logan just stared, then looked at Carlos and grinned. "FUCKING FINALLY. Took you two long enough, goddammit. I thought I was going to have to _do_ something."

"We didn't do _it_," Kendall clarified, having to laugh at his friends. "But we did other stuff that will eventually lead to it, and since James is a moaner, you might want to get earplugs."

He grinned and kissed James back, cupping his neck, and Carlos smirked back at Logan. Very nice.

When the kiss broke, Kendall leaned his head against James' shoulder. "What were you gonna _do_?"

Logan shrugged. "I have my ways of getting two people who are clueless together. But since you didn't need me after all, there's no reason for me to tell you my secret ways."

He grinned and wiggled his brows.

"I didn't know you were a master people-mixer; this is a side I know not of." Kendall eyed Logan, who eyed him back, then shook his head. "Maybe I don't want to know. Maybe it's better that this happened organically."

James smiled and nuzzled Kendall, then sighed. "Breakfast now. I'm hungry."

Kendall nuzzled James back. "I want food and to go back to bed, no lie. Can we call in horny?"

Logan smirked at him and laughed. "I dare you to call Gustavo right now and try!"

He grinned, then waved at the table. "Anyway, breakfast is ready, so sit, eat, drink…"

Kendall smiled and dug in his pocket for his phone while the others sat down around the table, Carlos shaking his head. He figured they'd hear Gustavo all the way from the studio without even needing the phone, a great big sonic NOOOOOOO rolling down the street.

Sure enough…

"Nice try, Knight, and I don't even wanna KNOW, but NO. NO, as in NO, as in get your asses here when I tell you to NO!"

Kendall had the phone held a good two feet from his ear – speakerphone, what was that?

"I tried, Jamie," he sighed, then sat on James' lap, forgoing a chair of his own. "No go. I may have to grope you inappropriately to show the severity of the situation."

He feeds James grapes, leaning against him, nuzzling occasionally and just basically feeling really… right.

James grinned. "I don't mind being groped inappropriately, so go ahead! I might even grope back."

He kissed his cheek and nuzzled Kendall back.

After a few minutes of silence, Logan looked up and leaned back. "Okay, spill. Tell me everything. How did this happen? I want details."

Kendall wiggled a brow at him, and smiled, planning to do just that – groping James all day long – and hoping that the inappropriate gropes in return didn't result in him walking around with a massive stiffie all day. Although there were worse things, such as thinking the boy of your dreams liked girls and would never look at you, so you spent your time ignoring everything around you and nearly missing out on the fact that boy of your dreams was kind of in love with you.

That was worse – Kendall knew that first hand.

He looked up, then down at James and smiled. "You wanna tell them, spin master, or should I?"

James nuzzled him. "You can tell them…" He eyed him. No, Kendal wouldn't tell them about him groping the mannequin, would he? No, he wouldn't.

He smiled and kissed his cheek. "Or we can both tell them, like they do in movies, all… couple-y."

Logan snorted, then coughed. "Sorry. Come on, I just want to hear the story."

Kendall slid his arm around James' neck. "Well, okay. As you know, James has apparently had a little thing – well, it's actually a pretty big thing – for me for a while. You also know I was pretty clueless about the whole thing."

"There's the understatement of the year," muttered Carlos, then winced when Logan hit him.

"Thanks, Log. And I was clueless because I've had feelings for James for a while, since way before we left Minnesota and I just… I never thought he'd be interested. Girls loved him, he seemingly loved them, and I just finally stopped thinking about it, about him. I pushed that stuff way down cause it hurt to want and not be wanted back. I thought. So I deliberately missed signs cause I'd convinced myself it wasn't meant to be."

He looked at James. "I just didn't want to get hurt, so I ignored it all."

James watched Kendall while he spoke, and smiled. "Yeah, and then, well, I got my job, and we just kind of drifted apart a little… I spent so much time at work because it was hard to be around Kendall when I knew I couldn't have him. So I worked my ass off, and closed every night, and came back when Kendall was already in bed. I missed him horribly, but it was also easier."

He looked at him. "And then last night, we had that fight, and I went back to the store and was going to sleep there… And then I went out at some point, and…"

"… and I went for a walk after James left," continued Kendall, munching toast. "I walked forever, but finally wound up at A&F and saw a light in the back, and wondered if James was there. And he was, obviously. He came outside to get rid of a bottle, I think, and was smoking."

He smirked. "Sorry, I find that amusing. Even if it was only one, Mr. Workout. But anyway, I waited till his back was turned and slipped in so he wouldn't toss me out on my ass, and just kind of waited for him inside. He'd made like a little fort in there for himself, being there so much."

Kendall doubted James would mention the mannequin and although he found it funny on some level, he understood that it wasn't funny to James – it had filled a need and Kendall would have to be a real asshole to mock him for it. He'd just wanked a lot, but James had missed him enough to actually transfer some emotion to something that did, actually, look just like him.

He wondered if he was an unwitting model. For the Salvation Army, maybe, but A&F?

Weird.

So although Logan would LOVE LOVE LOVE the mannequin story – as would Carlos – it was James' thing to speak of or not.

"Yeah, I was smoking… it's not like we haven't _all_ had a cigarette every once in a while. Anyway, I was stunned when I saw him standing there, and… well. Then I told him I love him, he told me he loves me and we kissed."

He smiled at Kendall, then wrapped his arms around him and looked at him for a long moment. Then he rolled his eyes and sighed. "Okay, go ahead. Tell them. I know you want to."

He gave him a little smile and kissed his nose, then buried his face in Kendall's neck.

"Tell us what?" Logan wanted to know, still smiling sappily cause their story had been cute and romantic, and he really wanted to go and kiss Camille now.

"True, true, we do. And that is just how it happened; mutual I love yous and lots of kissing."

Kendall pressed a little kiss to James' temple, then looked at the others. "Apparently," he said thoughtfully, "somewhere along the way A&F came up with a mannequin that looks quite a bit – meaning exactly – like me. Literally, almost a mirror image, right down to the unruly surfer hair. And one of them lives in that store and James… well, used it to say things to me that he couldn't say to me, if that makes sense. And I guess it helped make him feel better, cause at least that Kendall listened, while the real me… didn't."

Logan stared at the two of them. "Oh my god, wait. So the infamous boyfriend James mentioned was a mannequin?"

He looked at them for a moment, then cracked up. "Oh God. Sorry, I'm just picturing this now, James snuggling a mannequin and… sorry." He giggled.

Carlos tried to not laugh, but couldn't quite manage it. "Dude," he finally said, after the first outburst. "James, that is classic, dude. I mean, only you. And it looks just like Kendall?"

Kendall was snuggling James protectively. "It does – it's really – he should show you sometime. And he dressed it like me. Seriously, I have a look and didn't even know it."

He stroked James' hair. "It's funny, and yeah, you can laugh, but I just wish I'd been aware enough so he never needed to. But that's never gonna be a problem again, right?"

James sighed heavily. "Yeah, it's funny… ha ha." He looked at the other two and grinned a little. "He does look exactly like Kendall, though. I called him Kendoll. And…"

He looked back at Kendall. "No, that's never gonna be a problem again. Now I have you, I know you love me, and I won't have to replace you with a random plastic doll anymore."

He tilted Kendall's chin up and kissed him gently while Logan, still giggling, calmed down and watched them with a smile. Finally. FINALLY.

"Does this mean I won't be replaced with an inflatable doll too? Can I rest easy, knowing that?"

He looked down into James' eyes and when he was kissed, closed said eyes and wrapped both arms around him, tasting juice and jam and James, all mixed together.

James smiled against his lips. "There is absolutely no danger of that happening."

He ran his fingers through Kendall's hair and looked into his eyes. "I love you too much to look at someone else again – whether it's a real person or a doll."

He rubbed their noses together and looked into Kendall's eyes, imagining their future together, a warm, fuzzy feeling in his stomach. He didn't know what was going to happen, especially once the band started to get better-known; all he knew was that he and Kendall were gonna be together, by each other's sides, going through all of it together.

And all because of a mannequin, of all things. Dude.


End file.
